


Chris and Leon's Infinite Playlist

by MarukaiteArk



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Chris and Leon are basically Hyde and Jackie, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Gayle references, I try and be funny truly, Idiots in Love, Leon loves stevie nicks because I said so, M/M, Slice of Life, Songfic, Tags May Change, Very fluffy, and Jake Muller is a goofball ALSO because I said so, everyone is very OOC and i don't care either, no angst because finals made me SAD and i would like to NOT be sad, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24262954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarukaiteArk/pseuds/MarukaiteArk
Summary: Chris and Leon's life as a married couple, as explained by some classic tunes. Featuring cats, found family, and lots of fluff-essentially, I need to decompress after finals and haven't written a fic in a hot minute
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Chris Redfield, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 76





	1. Sh-Boom

**Author's Note:**

> AIGHT HELLo I have a fic on hiatus because this is all I could think about and I had to get it out hnnnnnnng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chords - Sh-Boom
> 
> Leon and Chris get busted

The lights of the city glowed below them, cuddled up close on the mattress in the back of the old station wagon. The post-coital bliss had washed its way over the two as they relaxed. Chris’s bones had never felt so loose as he watched the steam clear from the windows, head pillowed by his arm. 

Leon tucked his head under Chris’s chin, snuggling closer. Under the blanket, he threw a bare leg over Chris’s hips. Bill Kenny and the Ink Spots were crooning “Maybe” through the radio up in front, some old cassette Chris had tucked away from when he bought the ancient station wagon years ago. 

Leon sighed. “This is very romantic,” he mumbled sleepily. 

Chris craned his head down and kissed Leon’s temple. “See, this is what vacation should be. Not fighting BOWs in New York, or dealing with the DSO or the BSAA,” his other arm tightened around Leon, holding him close, “just you, me, and the stars. In my decrepit Vista Cruiser I got at a garage sale.”

Leon chuckled at that. He tilted his head up and their lips met for a languid kiss, his hand coming up to cup Chris’ cheek. He rolled onto his back, taking Chris with him as he spread his legs wide enough for the larger man to slot between them. Chris’s arms winded around his torso slipping under Leon’s (well, his actually, it was way too large to be Leon’s) flannel that he had practically ripped open earlier, bare chests pressed together. Leon hiked one of his legs up by Chris’s hip as he ground against him, his partner moaning in his mouth. They broke apart and Chris trailed kisses down to his collarbone.

“Round two already? Didn’t think you had it in you,” Leon chuckled. He gasped as Chris bit at the juncture of his throat and shoulder. His eyes rolled back and he gripped Chris roughly by the bicep, looking for any sort of friction by grinding his hips.

“God, I fucking love you,” Chris whispered against the column of his neck, electing to ignore his sarcasm, before he moved up, nosing at his jawline. 

Leon mewled, baring his throat to the man. Warmth glowed in his chest as he felt lips and the blunt scrape of teeth at his pulse point. Chris grabbed him roughly and lifted his hips to grind harder into his pelvis. A high pitched moan reached Leon’s ears and he flushed pink down to his toes when he realized it was him. Absolutely nothing could ruin this, he decided as Chris’s hand trailed lower, thick fingers brushing at his thigh.

Then came a knock at the back window of the station wagon.

Leon let out an indignant squawk, both he and Chris looking up to find a police officer glaring down at them. 

“Oh shit, that’s a cop!” Chris yelped, covering Leon’s body with his own and pulling the blanket over them.

“Chris, I am  _ completely naked _ under here,” Leon hissed, face twisted in a scowl. 

“Well, so am I! Why can’t we protect the sanctity of my nudity?” 

“You still have pants on, genius! My bare ass is out!”

“You are the one who jumped my bones, this is on you just as much as me-”

“Christopher. Make. Him. Leave.” 

Chris rummaged around in the back before he found his badge and slammed it up against the window. The cop jumped back startled before eyeing the badge suspiciously. Then, to Chris’s dismay, he shook his head. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Leon growled, digging around for his own badge. He slammed his just as aggressively against the window and the cop examined it before pulling back, wide-eyed. 

“Just… just wrap it up and get going, gentlemen. Uh, h-have a nice night…” he yelled through the glass before scurrying off to his patrol car and pulling away. 

“Heh heh, wrap it up,” Chris chortled before yelping as Leon punched him in the shoulder. Leon practically shoved him off and started buttoning his shirt back up.

"Get dressed and let's go home," he grumbled, pulling aside the blankets to put his boxers and jeans back on. The radio had been playing in the background the whole time, and as a familiar tune faded in, he stared at Chris incredulously.

_ "Life could be a dream, life could be a dream, do do do do, sh-boom!" _

"I can not believe you put this on the car sex cassette."

"I DID NOT. And this is not a "car sex cassette," you hedonist. The fact that it's in the stereo every time we  _ have _ car sex is purely coincidental." 

Leon rolled his eyes and crawled onto the front bench while Chris walked around to climb in the driver's side. As they got back on the road, Chris threw an arm up over the back of the seat and sighed.

"Sorry that cop ruined round two," he muttered grumpily. 

Leon leaned into his side, head resting on his shoulder. "I didn't say that."

Chris met his eyes, brows raised in surprise. Leon chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"All I said was 'get dressed and let's go home.' Where we have an actual bed. And no cops."

The excitement didn't last too long as the pair pulled up to their house, with two other cars in their driveway.

Chris nearly punched the steering wheel. "Oh what the hell-," he snapped, turning the car off and getting out. Leon beat him to the front door, which was already unlocked, and threw it open. 

Sherry was on the couch, scrolling through her phone and eating pretzels while Jill and Carlos cuddled in the recliner, watching something on TV. 

_ CHRIS'S RECLINER. AND LEON'S PRETZELS. _

"What the  _ hell  _ are all you children doing in our house?" Leon practically yelled. 

Jill looked over, eyeing him up and down. "I'm older than you." 

"I don't give a shit. Aren't you guys supposed to be at some banquet? Not defiling my husband's recliner?"

Carlos shrugged. "Yeah, we went and hung around for a bit but it was so  _ booooooooooring _ . That, and no one found our name tag gag that funny,” he said with a pout.

Chris read them all as they held them up. "Wow, I, as a civilian, would feel so much safer knowing I'm being protected from bio-terrorists by Hugh Jass, Mike Litoris, and Jenna Taila." 

"If you think these are good, you should see Jake's. Or should I say, 'Heywood Jablome,'" Sherry said from the couch, in between chewing mini pretzels. "He's in the kitchen, we were just waiting on him."

Leon went to the kitchen, leaving Chris behind with the company to find Jake with his hand on the fridge, looking sullen.

"Jake, what are you doing? Everyone's been waiting for you in the living room, did someone glue you to the fridge?"

"...no," he ground out.

Leon's eyes narrowed. "...Jake. Did you glue yourself to the fridge?"

"...yes."

* * *

After 30 minutes of trying to get Jake unstuck from the fridge (who had been trying to play a prank on Carlos but somehow managed to spill an entire small bottle of superglue on his hands. “Remind me why they let you have a gun again?” Leon had asked, exasperated after managing to free his thumb with a modest amount of acetone), the two eventually wandered back into the living room. Sherry had fallen asleep on Chris's shoulder, who had joined her on the couch to watch old sitcom reruns.

"Okay, found your lost boy, now you all need to vacate the premises please," Leon said, making shooing motions.

Jill glared at him over the edge of the recliner. "What? Why?"

"Because you all have your own fucking dwellings, and it's past  _ MY  _ bedtime. Now get going! Shoo! Scram!"

Chris looked at his wrist. "Yeah guys, Leon's right. It's gettin' pretty late."

"...You're not even wearing a watch, you fucking asshole."

"Yeah I am. Got it layered with my 'Carlos Oliveira has a small dick' bracelet."

Jake was practically carrying a half-asleep Sherry to the car already, so Carlos and Jill weren't far behind, trading insults for a few more minutes before leaving in their respective vehicles.

Back in the house, Leon and Chris collapsed on the couch. 

"Finally," the latter sighed, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

Leon smacked him in the chest. "How many times have I told you to stop doing that? And you should be nicer to Carlos, unlike the rest of our friends, he doesn't treat our home like a frat house."

Begrudgingly, Chris obeyed. "Oh please, you saw him in my recliner. Sitting there perched with fucking Jillian, all smug like a seagull that just pulled off a Dorito heist at the beach. That chair is reserved for my ass and your ass only." 

While the two relaxed on the couch to the sound of the TV for a bit, Chris gazed down at Leon, who had curled up against his side. At some point, he’d folded his legs up under himself, grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over his lap. Chris’s fingers toyed with Leon’s bangs, who grabbed his hand almost immediately when he paused at one point and placed it back in his hair. Cuddly, needy Leon falling asleep on the couch at night, snuggled up against him and occasionally laughing at whatever they were watching was his favorite. When he was a kid, watching his parents, this is what he imagined life would be like. It was practically a dream, and sometimes he was so convinced that he was going to wake up without Leon next to him in his ratty old apartment. Granted, it took a long time to get here, with a ton of setbacks, but if anyone wanted to take this from him they would have to pry it from his cold, dead hands. 

He spared a glance at the clock on the wall. They'd only been home for about an hour. 

"Interesting." 

Leon looked up sleepily. "Hm?" 

"All of our adult children are gone, hopefully not coming back until at least late tomorrow, and we have the house all to ourselves."

Leon was wide awake now, smirking. The two looked at each other for another moment before Leon was suddenly up, bolting towards the stairs.

Chris was following behind in hot pursuit landing a smack to his partner's ass who was taking the steps two at a time. When they finally got to their bedroom door, Chris picked Leon up and chucked him over his shoulder, pushing the door open like he would in a mission. 

"Chris what are you doing!"

"Just checking to make sure there's no surprise cops!"

"CHRISTOPHER REDFIELD."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Why Don't You Do Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy Lee - Why Don't You Do Right?
> 
> In which Leon tries to relax and leave Chris to his own devices in the kitchen, Chris and Carlos are the ultimate bros, the Legend of the KitchenAid Mixer is recounted, and Chris has an 80s montage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like 4 chapters of this already written so expect frequent updates yahoooooooo

“I’m going to go take a bath.” 

“But...but I thought we were going to bake cookies?”

Chris was a skilled cook, and he took immense pride in that. Having to pitch in around the house and somehow come up with a way to feed Claire that wasn’t strictly fast food, he found himself a young man digging through his mom’s old cookbooks in the garage. 

Leon can’t cook for shit. He’s tried, many times, spent hours looking at recipes on those websites where people wrote an entire monologue about the traumatic events that occurred in order to conceive their famous baked ziti that had five stars on cookingforfatfuckingdummies.com. But, Leon could _bake_.

Baking required a certain finesse that Chris just _didn’t have_ , patience, which Chris also didn’t have, and the ability to accurately measure ingredients and not eyeball everything before tossing it into a crockpot. 

So this worked out great for the two, with one cooking delicious dinners and the other baking decadent desserts. It was a perfect partnership.

Except for moments like this, where Leon thought he could trust his over-sized man child in the kitchen with some sugar and flour. 

Leon stopped at the stairs. “Chris, you are more than capable in the kitchen. If you’re worried about it, just wait til I get out.” He hurried up the stairs and turned the corner, out of sight for only a few moments before peering out of the hallway. “Bring me a glass of that red we opened a few nights ago?”

Chris shot him finger guns in response.

* * *

“I can do this, I can do this, I am a competent adult who pays taxes and is married and can _COOK_. I can measure ingredients in a bowl.” 

He opened the cabinet with the cookbooks, avoiding Leon’s copy of _Betty Crocker’s Cookie Cookbook_ with a post-it stuck to the front that read, _“CHRIS, DO NOT TOUCH.”_ Instead, he went for the notecard stuck in the cabinet, the one that read, “ _FOR CHRIS!! If you want cookies, just use this (AND DON’T USE MY KITCHENAID MIXER)._

Okay, that one was fair. He could fly a helicopter no problem, but he was far too intimidated to touch the mixer. Especially after what happened last time.

He read the list of ingredients under Leon's note. “¾ a cup of granulated sugar? What’s the difference?”

He pulled his phone out and texted Leon.

_**Baby <3** _

**What’s the difference between granulated sugar and regular sugar?**

His phone dinged not even a minute later.

_**there is no difference theyre the same thing** _

**Oh, okay.**

**Are you busy?**

Leon sent him a photo of his legs in the bath, covered in bubbles and illuminated by the orange glow of a candle. His hand was in frame, cradling his glass of red wine. 

**_yes_ **

**Can I text you if I need help?**

**_Sure_ **

**_Love you_ **

**Love you too!**

He hooked his phone up to the stereo and looked for Leon’s baking playlist. Once he found it, he set the phone down and got to work.

* * *

_"You had a-plenty money, 1922, you let other women make a fool of you, why don’t you do right, like some other men do?"_

Peggy Lee’s voice accompanied by a chorus of trumpets came muffled from downstairs, and Leon knew Chris found his baking playlist Sherry made after he’d cracked a few jokes about being a 60s trophy wife. 

He purred as he sunk deeper into the scalding water, eyes slipping shut. All his life, he knew his end goal was a bathtub deep enough for him to submerge himself completely. The antique clawfoot tub in the large bathroom was his sanctuary, the scent of lavender bath soak thick in the air. His profession could be hell on joints sometimes, but he could feel all the stress practically melting from his bones. He could practically _live_ in this tub.

_"Why don't you do right, like some other men do? Get out of here and get me some money too"_

His eyes shot open when his phone dinged again.

 **Chris** 🥰

**An entire stick of butter seems like a lot.**

**_its not that much_ **

**r u sure**

**_Yes im positive_ **

**Okay im putting all my trust in you**

**You should feel blessed.**

**_chris we’re married_ **

_**Make sure you preheat the oven before you start mixing things** _

**WELL YEAH I KNOW THAT**

**_OKAY I’M JUST TELLING YOU!!!_ **

**2 ¼ cups of flour????? WHY NOT JUST DO TWO**

**THIS IS TOO COMPLICATED**

**_Calm down and let Peggy Lee guide you i can tell youre having a meltdown because your autocorrect isnt working_ **

**Peggy lee is telling me im doing everything wrong**

**_im expecting delicious cookies when i get out_ **

**Oh i'll give you a delicious cookie**

**wait no that sounded too sexy i'm not trying to seduce you i promise**

**...or am i?**

* * *

_**Carlos**_

**HELP ME**

**_WHAT WHAT WHAT’S HAPPENING_ **

**_CHRIS ARE YOU OKAY?!_ **

**_ILL BE THERE SOON_ **

**I'M TRYING TO BAKE AND LEON WON’T LET ME USE THE KITCHENAID MIXER**

_**oh** _

_**yeah jill won’t let me use hers either** _

_**but that’s probably because i got the weird drill bit mixer thingie stuck in the kitchen ceiling that one time** _

_**you were there** _

_**we were trying to make pancakes** _

**Yeah, that’s why Leon won’t let me use his.**

_**ah, i see** _

**Here, does this look like cookie dough?**

**[Photo sent]**

_**oh fuck yeah** _

**_now stir that shit a lil more_ **

**God this is exhausting. I wish we had KitchenAid privileges.**

**_CHRIS. BRO. THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE THESE BIG ASS BICEPS FOR._ **

**_YOU THINK I GOT THESE FROM HITTING THE GYM? FUCK NO._ **

**_THESE FUCKERS ARE FROM STIRRING UP DELICIOUS FOOD AND HUGGING MY GF_ **

**YOU’RE RIGHT.**

**I’VE PUNCHED BOULDERS.**

**PEGGY LEE AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME.**

**_Jill_ **

**_I heard you’re trying to bake again pls don’t touch any KitchenAid mixers or Leon might have a conniption._ **

* * *

Leon set his phone back down and picked up the book he’d been working his way through whenever he decided to relax in the tub after a long day. It was some book he’d purchased at the thrift store, written by some guy about Stevie Nicks and her time touring, and he’d already worked about halfway through. 

Suddenly Peggy Lee, who had been playing on a solid loop for nearly 15 minutes, cut off abruptly. Through the walls and the floor, Leon heard the tell-tale opening of “Push It To The Limit” from _Scarface_ blaring from the kitchen. He huffed, that angry vein in forehead dangerously close to popping out. 

“Doesn’t concern you, Leon. He’s a grown man that can use a kitchen, he cooks dinner every night, Leon,” he reassured himself through gritted teeth. He sunk lower into the water. "I am not worried, I am _CALM_."

* * *

After the mixture finally thickened up, Chris placed it in fine dollops across a baking tray covered in parchment paper, making sure they were placed far enough apart that they wouldn’t all melt together. Once that was done, he placed the tray in the oven. 

When the oven door shut, he let out a sigh of relief. 

He held his arms up in triumph. “I did it, holy shit, I did it!” He yelled, covered in flour. 

Something hit Chris’s leg. He looked down to find one of the cats, the black cat Kevin, nosing at his calf. “Oh, hey pal. Are you hungry too?”

Kevin wasn’t as talkative as his brother but looked up at Chris with wide eyes, meowing quietly. Chris picked him up and carried him over to his food bowl, setting him down and pouring some dry food in the ceramic bowl that had “EAT” painted in black. Instead of eating, Kevin sat down and stared up at Chris with his big, button eyes. 

“Really, are you doing this again?”

Kevin meowed in response.

Last year, Kevin went through a weird phase where he wouldn’t eat unless Leon or Chris was laying on the floor with him. It was most likely a stress thing, according to their vet, so they had spent most of their meals on the ground back then. So, once again he lowered himself to the ground, laying next to the food bowl. Eventually, Kevin started eating like nothing out of the ordinary. 

Chris didn’t know how long he laid there, talking to the cat while he ate.

“-And that’s why they say playing Mozart while you sleep makes you smarter. I think conversely, if you play Smash Mouth while you sleep, it’s gonna make you a little bit dumber.” 

The smell of something burning hit his nostrils.

He jolted up straight. _“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”_

* * *

_“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”_

Leon dropped the book to the ground. “Chris?”

Something was burning down in the kitchen, and suddenly the smoke alarm went off. 

Leon gripped the sides of the tub, letting out a frustrated scream. “Chris!” 

He growled and climbed out, dripping water and bubbles all over the floor. He blew the candles out and quickly dried himself off with a towel before dressing in his robe and hurrying down the stairs. Before he got into the kitchen, he paused Chris’s music on the stereo. Already he could hear from the next room a muffled chorus of _"oh no oh shit oh no!"_

In the kitchen, the oven was hanging open, pans sitting on the stove. Blackened, shriveled disks were covered in a thick layer of smoke, like a long abandoned campfire. Leon looked to the source of the shrill beeping, which was quickly cut off.

Chris had his back to Leon, pulling the battery out of the smoke detector. He turned when he heard Leon clear his throat.

“Oh! Uh, um...I...I was just-,” he stuttered, as Leon raised a brow, leaning against the door frame with his hands on his hips, “you look great, have I told you that I love you today?”

“Yes, you have. Several times.” 

“Okay, I just thought I’d remind you in case you yell at me,” he said sheepishly.

Leon glanced over at the stovetop, “are those your cookies?”

“Listen, I know what you’re going to say, _BUT_ I actually did it right this time! Before they went in the oven, everything was perfect! I sent a picture to Carlos and he told me it was fine! And I tasted it and it was definitely cookie dough, so I just put 'em in the oven as one does. I even spaced them out to make sure they didn’t melt together into one big monster cookie! _BUT THEN_ , Kevin needed to eat so I fed him but he started doing that thing again where he doesn’t eat unless you sit next to him and I guess I sat down for too long-”

The entire time, Leon was nodding his head along. 

“-so then I smelled burning and I came in here and there was smoke and burning and...yeah, now I have those,” he said, pointing at the burnt cookies. His shoulders slumped. “This sucks.” 

Leon shook his head. “It’s not the end of the world. You should still have about half a bowl of dough. Get rid of those hockey pucks, open the windows, and make what’s left. And I'll help you, I just need to go get dressed first.”

Chris wrapped him up in a bear hug, all while Leon protested. “Chris! You’re covered in flour!”

“But I love you!” He said back, lifting Leon up in his arms and hugging him tighter, peppering his face with kisses. Leon screeched before shaking in a fit of laughter.

“Alright, alright! I love you too! Now put me down and lemme go put clothes on!” 

So Leon put on one of Chris’s sweatshirts and supervised, making sure he didn’t burn the next batch of cookies. When they finally cooled down, he plucked one from the tray and popped it in his mouth. Chris eyed him eagerly. 

Leon nodded while he chewed. “If I wasn’t full of myself, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between my cookies and yours.”

“So are you, Leon Scott Kennedy, saying I can bake?”

Leon sighed and crossed his arms. “Yes, I’m saying you can bake.” 

Chris grinned, pulling him in with an arm around his waist and kissing him softly. The taste of melted chocolate and vanilla was still on his lips, and his hair smelled like lavender and honey. When he pulled back, he could only smile at the dopey look on Leon’s face. _Jesus Christ, I am in love._

“Now, will you let me teach you how to cook something other than spaghetti?”

Leon laughed that sly little laugh he always did before being a little shit, coming nose to nose with Chris. “Yeah…not gonna happen!” He shot back.

He broke from Chris’s hold and grabbed a handful of cookies before running towards the living room. By the time Chris realized what was even happening he was already scampering up the stairs, another cookie in his mouth.

“Love you!” He said cheekily before disappearing around the corner.

Chris shook his head and chuckled before being faced with a nightmare in the kitchen. Flour was everywhere, and dirty dishes were piled on the counter tops. The realization began to sink in. 

“Oh my god, I have to _CLEAN_ all of this.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leon has that disorder only Midwesterners have called, "either I can bake, put things in a crockpot, or both. anything else is beyond my capability. cooking with wine? what is that?" Meanwhile Chris can't make instant pudding without have to lay down and count to ten.


	3. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris finds out Leon never had that slow dance at prom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter update yesterday because I went to run errands and immediately fell asleep as soon as I got home so take this lil fluffy bit ufhrjnjnjs

Leon never went to prom.

Chris has been married to this man for almost 5 years, and he's just now finding out Leon never went to prom?

"How on fucking Earth did you not go to prom?" Chris asked, holding up a photo from one of the photo albums they'd found in the attic. It was a Polaroid of teenage Leon, wearing an argyle sweater that was far too big and high waisted jeans, bent down feeding a cat.

Leon shrugged, flipping through another album. "Nobody asked me."

"WHAT?"

Leon looked up at Chris, amused. "Well, I wasn't too big into partying or anything like that. And, I went to a small school outside of Raccoon City where everyone knew each other and they all kinda just…just paired up. No one asked me, and I didn't see why I should pay $25 for a ticket. So, didn't go." He laughed when he saw the look of shock on Chris's face. "What?"

"I," Chris started in his holier-than-thou voice, "as Raccoon High School's 1990 Prom King, would have given you the most extravagant and obnoxious promposal in the history of promposals."

Leon couldn't contain his laughter. "Wait, you were prom king?" He paused. "Actually, that's probably one of the least surprising things I've learned about you in almost 5 years of marriage."

"I mean," Chris said, "it was a number of factors. My charisma, my devilish good looks, the fact that I used my adorable little sister to hand out candy with my name on it, who knows?"

"Oh god, whoever your date was must've had rockin' prom sex."

"Nope. I took Jackie Santoro and she ended up leaving me halfway through the dance to hang off Steven Carmichael. I was pissed. For YEARS." A sly look crossed his face as he pulled Leon into his lap, knocking a few albums out of the way. "But then, down the road my sister introduced me to this, annoying ass blonde kid," he started, laughing when Leon hit him in the shoulder, "and suddenly I didn't care about Jackie Santoro, or Steven Carmichael, or anyone else," he rested his chin at the juncture of Leon's neck and shoulder, "just started making plans to woo that sexy blonde." 

“You’re so cheesy,” Leon muttered, winding his arms around Chris’s neck, “love you.”

Chris gave his lips a little peck. “Love you too. Now get up, I gotta go start dinner.”

“ _ Noooooo _ ,” Leon whined, only holding onto Chris tighter. “I like you too much.”

Chris huffed. “Fine! I see we’re doing this the hard way.”

He stood up to his full height, Leon hanging off him like a koala. Fortunately, Chris was strong enough to carry him without much effort, so he made his way to the basement stairs.

“You were fuckin’ hot in high school. I mean, you’re hot now, but I would have  _ destroyed  _ you.”

“Christopher Redfield.”

“What? It’s true!”

“When you were a senior, I was a freshman. Stop being a pervert.” 

“Okay, you have a point that is pretty fuckin’ gross.”

* * *

Chris had downed two beers and Leon was a quarter way through another vintage red when the prom got brought up again.

“I still cannot believe you didn’t experience one of American’s most important traditions. Prom shapes the life of like, seventy percent of America’s adults. Hell, some people peaked at prom,” Chris rambled, Leon’s head tucked against his shoulder. 

Leon shrugged. “Like I said the other day, I was just never into it.” 

Chris frowned and tapped Leon. “Lemme up.”

Leon obeyed, sitting up confused. He watched Chris run to the light switch on the wall and dim the lights in the living room until they were nearly off. He then started towards the stereo, shutting the TV off. 

“Chris, what are you doing?”

“You’re going to have your slow dance. I’m going to make it happen.”

Leon facepalmed. “Babe, I slow-danced with you at our wedding.”

“AND YOU’LL DO IT AGAIN!”

He fiddled with the stereo and his phone for a bit, before a familiar tune floated through the speakers.

“Oh my god, are you serious?”

Chris made his way over slowly, offering Leon his hand with a near feral grin plastered on his face. “May I have this dance?” 

_ “Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you…” _

“You know,” Leon said, accepting his hand, “I was in the class of ‘94. They would’ve been playing like, Weezer or something.”

Chris pulled him close, hands grasping at his waist. Leon’s arms went around his neck. “Oh please, this was a throwback at my prom.”

“Wait, we should leave room for Jesus, shouldn’t we?”

Chris belly-laughed at that. “You really haven’t been to a school dance, have you?”

_ “Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind. Suitcase of memories, time after…” _

He pulled Leon even closer in, taking one of his hands in his own. The arm Leon still had around his neck moved down to his shoulder, and Leon rested his head against it. His eyes slipped shit as they swayed to Cyndi Lauper’s voice on the stereo set. 

_ “Then you say, ‘go slow,’ I fall behind…” _

“Oh, here we go, ready? I’m gonna spin you.”

“Chris!”

“Doin’ it!”

When the chorus hit, Chris spun him quickly before yanking him back in by the small of his back. All the while, Leon was shrieking with laughter, and nearly collapsed in a pile of tipsy giggles had Chris not been holding his weight up. 

_ “If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time…” _

“I can’t believe I get to dance with the prom king,” Leon murmured, “this is the greatest day of my life.”

“Maybe if you're lucky, the prom king will take you home for the night,” Chris replied lowly. He waggled his brows suggestively and Leon threw his head back in a cackle. After another bit of swaying, Chris spun him around again.

_ “After my picture fades and darkness has turned to grey. Watching through windows, you’re wondering if I’m okay…” _

“Am I a better dance partner than Jackie Santoro?”

“Much better,” Chris nodded, “senior prom was much better than junior prom, I’ll admit.”

“How so?”

“Well for one, senior year I got Prom King-”

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Leon said in agreement.

“And junior year I hadn’t got my braces off yet,  _ ssho I talked like thish, _ ” Chris lisped. 

Again, Leon let out that awful witch cackle that Chris loved but he hated. “You poor thing! But you know what I could bet money on?” At Chris’s confusion, Leon continued, “I bet you probably ended up a lot more handsome than Steven Carmichael.” 

“You really think so?” 

“Oh I guarantee it. Probably a lot more successful too.” 

_ “If you’re lost you can look and you will find me, time after time…” _

Suddenly, Leon squawked as Chris dipped him.

“I’m probably so much better in bed too, now that I think about it.”

“Okay, get off your high horse,” Leon chided as he was pulled back into a standing position, “there was that one time you fucked my brains out and had to carry me to the bathroom so I could brush my teeth. I’ll give you that.” 

He shook his head, remembering that night when Chris had come home late from some cleanup job spanning nearly two goddamn weeks in who knows where. He’d stumbled in, dog tired until he found Leon splayed across their bed, wearing nothing but one of his huge shirts and some tiny little shorts. 

Helena and Hunnigan knew Chris was home as soon as Leon showed up at work the next morning. Then, the whole office knew. He couldn’t walk straight for a week. It was more embarrassing than the time he rolled his ankle playing flashlight tag at Claire’s house.

Chris sighed. “Heavy is the crown.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, your dick is big,” Leon grumbled, “show some humility.”

_ “If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time. Time after time, time after time…” _

As the song faded out they still swayed in the dimly lit living room. Leon pressed a kiss to Chris’s jawline. 

“Love you,” he whispered.

“Love you more.”

“Love you the most.” 

Their lips met as soft piano music faded in. Neither of them recognized it, but as they broke apart, they swayed to it anyways.

“Mind if I take you home?” 

Leon looked at him, eyes soft and a small smile on his lips. “ _ Firsht I gotta ashk the chaperone if it’s okay,”  _ he lisped.

Now it was Chris’s turn to cackle, before he kissed him again, a bit more heat than the last few they had shared. When Chris’s hands moved to the backs of his thighs, pausing to cup his ass on the way down, Leon let Chris pick him up, wrapping his legs around his middle and gripping his hair tightly. Chris started walking them backwards, their mouths still sliding together. When Leon teased his lower lip with his tongue, Chris stumbled.

“Oh shit!” 

Leon landed on his back, Chris nearly knocking the wind out of him as he fell on top of him. They were dead silent for a moment before they both burst out laughing. Chris let his head drop on Leon's shoulder. "I think we're getting a bit too old for this."

Leon fixed him with a sultry gaze, rubbing his thigh against the bulge in Chris's pants. "I don't think so."

And that’s how Leon and Chris ended up on the floor of their living room, going at it like a pair of teenagers. And thankfully, when Leon showed up to work a few days later with rug burn on his elbows, nobody said anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chris absolutely was Prom King and y'all can fight me on this


	4. Need You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris is the champion of babysitting drunk Leon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, I do school work on the weekends and ran out of chapters to heehee

"You know, I'm just glad they're having fun," Jill said to Chris over her glass of Sprite.

Jake leaned out beside Chris, shaking his head. "Yeah, no it's still weird." He turned to Helena. "You keepin' an eye on yours?"

"This is the first time I've ever seen her this gone."

Across the table, Leon, Carlos, Sherry, and Hunnigan were smashed against each other with no regard for personal space, screaming _"Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats!"_ into their empty glasses. Carlos, even in his drunken state, grabbed Leon’s elbow to keep him from sliding under the table as he sank down in the booth.

Chris smiled fondly. It was Country Night at the bar the group frequented, and Country Night was special for him. He and Leon had their first kiss years ago in some other bar, country themed that Claire had dragged them to with some corny love song playing in the background. Leon, drunk as a skunk, had taken the ten-gallon hat right off his head and plopped it on his own, grinning up at him and batting his eyelashes like he was the prettiest thing in the whole damn holler. Chris couldn’t _not_ kiss him. He was sure he had that hat in a box somewhere. 

He definitely kept the photo of Leon in his lap, wearing that hat with his arms slung around Chris's shoulders and silly grins plastered across their faces.

And he knew for a FACT Leon kept a copy somewhere in his dresser.

Sherry banging her hands on the table brought him back in the moment. “Okay! I’m too drunk to line dance, no more!”

Beside her, poor Hunnigan was swaying in her seat. “I didn’t even know I could line dance,” she slurred. 

Hunnigan very rarely went out, always loaded with work and essentially carrying the entire FOS on her shoulders. After the events in China, Helena made it her mission to drag her out of the office as much as possible. As long as she had someone to keep an eye on her, Hunnigan gladly went along. She even had her contacts in tonight.

“Oh honey, you can’t. But, you tried and that’s what matters,” Helena said before looking over the sober side of the booth. “So, are we heading out now? It’s almost 1 am.” 

“Jesus Christ, who let us stay out this late? We’re almost all in our forties,” Jill groaned, lowering her head to the table.

 _“I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires!”_ Carlos and Leon were still practically yodelling, without abandon. Or talent.

“They are singing this way too confidently for people in loving and trusting relationships.”

“Jill! Be fuckin careful,” Jake hissed, “this right here? This is a warning! They wanna make sure you know what happens if you do cheat.”

“Uh...no. I _think_ drunk Leon likes Carrie Underwood and both drunk and sober Carlos looks for any excuse to scream.”

Carlos, at the mention of his name, shot Jill a weak finger gun. “The babe is right, I sure do like bein’ loud.”

Chris had been keeping a close eye on Leon all night, who made it through his sad tipsy phase early on. Drunk Leon experienced phases, and right now he was at the fun, loud Leon stage.

They waited for the song to end before they got a move on. Helena was the first one out of the booth, taking poor Hunnigan by the hands. “C’mon babydoll, let’s get you home.” 

“What? We’re leaving? Man, this sucks,” Carlos pouted. 

“Chris! Chris, you gotta come with me to get my ID,” Leon babbled, reaching over towards him with grabby hands. 

Chris nearly forgot. Leon got his driver’s license confiscated after the bartender cut him off. Someone bumped into him and he was too out of it to even respond, instead falling into the barstool and almost knocking it over. Everyone else was headed out to their cars so Chris took Leon by the arm, walking him up to the bar. 

“Okay, you remember which one it was?” 

“Yeah...yeah it was that one- oh wait! Wait-!” he mumbled as the bartender that had been standing in front of them started walking off. “Oops there he goes, guess no driver’s license for me.”

“No, that’s not how this works.” He set Leon up in a stool, leaned against the back so he wouldn’t tip over. “Now, you sit right here. I’ll be right back.”

Leon gave him a mock salute. “Ay, ay captain!” His head ducked down, and his eyes narrowed. “Have you always had those boots?”

“Yes, now stay put!”

Chris hurried over to the bartender, who was ringing up a sale. Dead sober, getting Leon’s ID back was no problem. He tapped his foot while waiting for him to dig the ID out of a little plastic tub full of others that had been confiscated..

“Thank you,” Chris said politely as he handed it over. “I’m sorry about him. He doesn’t really get the chance to let loose, but he’s definitely gonna be embarrassed in the morning.”

The bartender waved him off. “Don’t worry about it, happens to the best of us. But, you better get going. Looks like your little honey bee is pretty popular,” he said, pointing in Leon’s direction.

Chris looked over and immediately glared daggers at some guy who practically caged Leon up against the bar. Another muttered thanks was given to the bartender before he stormed over and caught the tail end of the conversation. 

“Listen,” Leon slurred, “even if I wasn’t married, I still wouldn’t be flattered. But, I fuck with you for trying.”

“I see a ring on your finger but I don’t see no husband around,” skeevy guy flirted back, grinning like a cat as he leaned into Leon’s space. Leon moved back, lip curled in disgust.

“You makin’ friends over here?”

Leon turned and gaped, leaping up from the barstool and throwing himself at Chris. “Baby!” He squealed.

“Oh...shit,” the dude cursed, having to look up at Chris.

“Yeah, ‘oh shit,’’ Chris mocked, “get lost, dick.”

Fortunately, he hurried off without another word. It very well could’ve ended in a fight, but Chris was getting far too old for that. He offered Leon his arm, who giggled in drunken glee and gladly accepted. 

Out in the parking lot, the group was in chaos.

Hunnigan was apparently living the “tequila makes her clothes fall off,” life, Helena desperately clinging to the bottom of her shirt while Hunnigan yanked from the top.

“Ingrid! I won’t tell you again, keep your shirt on!” 

“No!” Hunnigan spat defiantly, “I don’t want to!”

Carlos was propped up against Jill’s car, muttering something in Spanish. 

“You don’t need to get a boat! We don’t have anywhere to put a boat, babe,” Jill shot back.

He started talking faster and sharper, trying to draw points in the air with a finger before he stopped suddenly and gagged.

Sherry and Jake were seemingly normal, until Chris got closer and heard them arguing.

“Sherry, babygirl, I love you to death, but you are really trying me right now.”

The woman was sat in the passenger seat, head leaned back and eyes half shut. She looked over sharply, "don't lie, you love me for this attitude, idiot."

She relaxed back against the seat, looking like she was ready to fall asleep again. “Okay, yes I love you and your bratty attitude. Now, when we get home you’re gonna come inside and we can-”

She turned to him again, effectively cutting him off when she slurred, “you came inside me last night.”

Jake facepalmed at his poor choice of words and turned to face Chris, absolutely mortified, mouthing to him while pointing at Leon, _“please tell me he didn’t hear that.”_

Leon was effectively dazed, swaying against Chris as he stared up at the sky. Chris gave Jake a little thumbs up before he said back, “ he didn't but I did, and I’m effectively traumatized, so thank you for that.”

“I also heard it and I would like to be dead now,” Helena chimed in.

Leon started tugging at Chris's shirt. "I'm going to tell everyone one of my deepest secrets now!" He held his hands up, pausing for dramatic effect. "Once, I put ice cubes in the blender trying to make a milkshake and it caught on fire. That was _ME,_ Chris! I said it was Claire but it was _ME_!"

Jake gasped. "HE DOES THAT TOO?" he turned to Sherry. "Supergirl, tell me one of your deepest secrets."

Sherry, who had slid further down in her seat, pointed a finger at nothing. "I only learned to shoot whiskey so I wasn't like that bitch in the Carrie Underwood song."

"That's my girl!" Leon stumbled over, giving her a clumsy high-five. On his way back, he tripped over his own feet and Chris caught him.

"Okay, time to go home." 

Leon stomped his foot. "Aw, but we were having so much fun!"

Bratty Leon was starting to bleed through loud Leon, so Chris quickly thought of a clever ruse.

"Hey, I think you forgot to feed the cats before we left."

Leon shrieked. "WE GOTTA GO HOME."

He took off in a sprint towards his car, graceful as a newborn baby deer.

"Everyone text the group chat when y'all get home?" 

"Will do," sounded the sober chorus.

"Chris, unlock the fucking car! The children are at home unattended!" Leon shouted, yanking on the door handle.

Another couple that was walking to their own car looked over, concerned. 

"He's talking about our cats," Chris called to them.

The couple laughed and nodded in understanding, going about their business. 

Once Leon was situated and buckled in, Chris pulled out of the lot and got on the road home, watching in the rearview as Jill and Carlos pulled out behind them.

Leon's car was nice, a small and sleek model that he rarely ever drove (because he wasn't a very good driver) with leather seats and satellite radio. Unlike Chris's vintage Vista Cruiser and the newest model Ranger he had just picked up after trading in the Jeep, this car could actually fit in parking spots.

They were halfway home when Leon turned to Chris. "I think I'm going to give you roadhead right now."

And coming in hot was horny Leon.

"Uhhh," Chris reached down, holding Leon's seat belt so he couldn't unbuckle, "no the fuck you are not."

Leon looked down then back to Chris, his eyes narrowed. "You're a fool if you think that's gonna stop me. You've seen how flexible I am."

“Leon, you still have bones.”

Leon _tched._ “Where we’re going, we don’t need bones.”

Chris stared at him, wide-eyed. “What the fuck does that even _mean?”_

Using the distraction, Leon grabbed the seat belt and tugged at it, trying to lean down. He was stopped by the safety lock, holding him tightly in place. 

"SON OF A BITCH," he yelled, yanking at it angrily.

He tugged at the seat belt a few more times before finally giving up, throwing himself back against the seat in frustration. 

"How about I turn on the radio," Chris offered. "Would that be okay?"

"I guess!" Leon pouted, looking out the window.

The radio, funnily enough, was already tuned to the country station, partially through the first verse of a song. 

“OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG,” Leon yelped, attitude doing a total 180°. Chris laughed as Leon reached over and turned the volume up. And just like that, loud Leon was back in full force.

_“And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time..”_

“Oh shit, here it comes, here I go, _it’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now_ ,” Leon sang loudly and off-key. He reached a hand out towards Chris, serenading him into an invisible microphone, “ _Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now!_ ”

 _“And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now…”_ Chris sang back, and Leon clapped gleefully. “Okay next verse, I’ll duet with you. You ready?”

“Yep, hit me with it,” Leon nodded excitedly.

 _“ Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door. Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before_ …”

“ _And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,_ ” Leon had grabbed Chris’s hand that had been on the seat belt, and was now singing into it, " _for me it happens all the time_ …”

Chris watched him as he dove straight into the chorus, dancing in his seat and singing to him. Leon was having a blast, and Chris knew he would definitely complain about his neck hurting once he got up tomorrow morning. His hair was an absolute mess, cheeks red, and a big smile stretched across his face. God, Chris couldn’t stress how much he loved this man. He really loved him so much, he felt his heart swell up and crawl into his throat when he even _thought_ about Leon. 

Halfway through the last chorus, Leon stopped. “I love you.”

“Love ya too, honeybee,” Chris drawled. 

“Honeybee?”

“What? You don’t like it?”

“Ah! I didn’t say that!”

* * *

When they finally got home, Leon threw himself on the floor in front of the cats. Kevin immediately curled up inside his jacket and Pants, the ultra rare male calico, crawled out from under the couch and sniffed his hair.

“Pants, Kevin, my babies! I missed you!” He gawked over at the food bowls and glared up at Chris. “Hey! You said I forgot to feed them!”

“I lied,” Chris replied, “but it was for your well being, now c’mon let’s go to bed.” He gestured up the stairs, but Leon crossed his arms and shook his head. 

“No! Maybe I’ll sleep down here with the cats tonight,” Leon said indignantly. He uncrossed his arm to scratch Pants behind the ear.

“Sweetheart, the cats don’t even sleep down here, it’s why we have a king sized bed,” Chris said, bending down and picking Leon up off the floor. 

“What the fuck! How are you so fucking strong?” Leon’s head rocked forward, resting against Chris’s shoulder as he carried him bridal style up the stairs.

“Why are you surprised? Y’know, I punched a boulder one time.” 

“Mmm,” Leon hummed, “You sure did, you big sexy man you.”

The cats followed them into the bedroom and Chris laid him carefully in their bed, helping him take jeans and t-shirt off. He dug through his drawers and found a comfy shirt of his own, helping Leon get it over his head. It hung down to his thighs and hung off his shoulder, his collarbones on display as he lay sprawled out across their quilt. 

“I’ll be right back,” Chris said, walking into the en suite bathroom. He got Leon’s face wash and wet a rag with some warm water, coming back out to find Leon with the cats crawling around the bed. He finally reached the sleepy Leon phase, yawning loudly and stretching his arms above his head.

“Scoot over, kiddos,” Chris chirped, making shooing motions at the cats. They obliged, and he sat in the space they previously occupied. “Move your bangs.”

Leon didn’t even open his eyes, just reached up tiredly and held his hair off his forehead. Chris, being the ever loving husband that he is, started lathering his face with soap.

“What are you doing?” Leon asked groggily.

“You wouldn’t forgive me if I let you go to bed with a greasy face,” Chris murmured, lathering the soap a little bit more before taking the rag and wiping his face down. 

Leon sniffled, and Chris paused. His brow furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

Leon reached up and wiped his eyes. Tears started rolling down his cheeks.

Now finally came the return of sad Leon, in full force.

“I just really love you,” Leon cried, “because you’re really good to me and I feel like I don’t tell you that I appreciate you enough.” He let out a whine and hid his face behind his hands.

“Oh, honeybee, come here,” Chris cooed, pulling him close. Leon crawled into his lap and cried against his shoulder, all while Chris stroked his hair and patted his back. “You just told me in the car that you love me! I know just how much you love me, I promise.”

Leon calmed down after a bit, still seated in Chris’s lap. “I like when you call me honeybee,” he sniffled, “can you do it more?”

Chris smiled at him, “of course I can.”

Leon hummed in content and laid back down on the bed. “Now I’m ready to go to bed.”

Chris got up and turned the overhead light off before coming back to lay down with him, turning on the bedside lamp. Leon pillowed his head on Chris’s chest and put a leg over his hips, pulling the blanket up to his chin while Kevin and Pants curled up in the space between Chris’s legs. Leon mumbled things sleepily for a while as Chris played with his hair before finally falling asleep. Before Chris followed, he checked the group chat to make sure everyone got home safe.

**_Fellowship of the Cheeky Lads 🔥_ **

**Rebecca 😇: Heyyy, did you guys all have fun?**

**Helena 😈: she cant hang**

She sent a picture of Hunnigan propped up against the toilet with her face obscured by her arm, no doubt sick to her stomach. Helena was in the foreground, giving the camera a wink and thumbs up. 

**Jill ❤: Neither can he**

She had also sent a photo, angled into the bathroom from her bed. Carlos was sprawled out on the floor, dead asleep with a string of drool dripping from his mouth.

**Jilly ❤: He ain’t even sick, he just said he was going to sleep on the floor because it was ‘nice and cold’ and passed out**

Jake sent a photo of Sherry, wide-eyed and red-cheeked wearing what looked to be a mophead as a hat, a few strands braided below her chin.

**Demon Spawn 🤠: She found the new mophead I just bought and said**

**‘hey babe look im rodrik cassel from game of thrones’**

**and started doing a really bad accent**

**OH MY GOD**

**SHE RAN UP THE STAIRS ON ALL FOURS AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME**

**I THOUGHT IT WAS A DOG**

**THEN I THOUGHT SHE WAS POSSESSED**

**I can’t deal with this I just wanna brush my teeth**

**I defy any one of you bastards to spend a night trying to take care of drunk sherry, this woman is fucking bananas**

He snapped a photo of Leon, his hand curled up in his face and mouth hanging open as he snored quietly against Chris’s chest, and hit send.

**Chris 🐻: He sang Lady Antebellum the whole way home, uncovered my ‘forgot to feed the cats’ ruse, then cried because he thinks he doesn’t tell me he loves me enough.**

**Jill ❤: AWWWWWW**

**Helena 😈: oh shut the fuck up that’s so cute**

**Demon Spawn 🤠: FUCK YOU CHRIS SHERRY IS STILL RUNNING AROUND WITH THE FUCKING MOP ON HER HEAD**

**WHAT DO I FUCKING DO**

**Chris 🐻: Bitch wtf do you want me to do not my problem**

Chris set his phone down and flicked the bedside lamp off. In his sleep, Leon snuggled closer and Chris’s arm tightened around him before he relaxed and tried to get some shut-eye of his own. He was deep in his own dreamless sleep when his phone dinged in the darkness.

**Claire-bear 🤡: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WENT TO COUNTRY NIGHT WITHOUT ME?!?!?!?!?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of this drunken behavior is based off my own and that of my friends, I will not say which is which (loudly screaming Lady Antebellum is definitely me tho)


	5. La Vie En Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris, king of terrible surprises, plans a surprise for his and Leon's wedding anniversary. It doesn't go over too well. So, he enlists the help of their loyal friends in an attempt to salvage the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep trying to make large updates as an apology for the wide gaps in between
> 
> Oof

The ambiance was all off. 

Everyone in both the DSO and BSAA offices was on edge.

Chris and Leon had an argument.

Helena knew as soon as Leon stormed in Monday morning, fists clenched and scowling.

"That's not a pretty face," she had teased.

"Fuck off."

He stomped his way down the hall and slammed a door behind him, loud enough to shake the walls of the entire office. Just like that, everyone knew to stay out of Agent Kennedy's way.

Quickly, Helena whipped out her phone and made a new group chat without Chris and Leon. The sense of guilt crept up but she shoved it back down. Over the course of her time in the DSO since the Simmons incident, Helena and Leon had grown rather close as partners. So, if something was pissing him off, she needed to get to the bottom of it.

**Hnnngshsdh**

**Helena created Hnnngshsdh**

**Helena added Carlos, Jill, Claire, Rebecca, Hunnigan, Jake, and Sherry to the Hnnngshsdh**

**Helena: alright ladies and gentleman what the FUCK did Chris do to Leon**

**Carlos: boi you think I fuckign know ive been hiding at my desk since chris got here**

**he's mad**

**big mad**

**someone tried to hand him a clipboard and he broke it across his knee and tossed it through the window**

**Jill: YEAH I TRIED TO CRACK A JOKE ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE EXPENSIVE AND HE TOLD ME TO SHUT UP**

**I did not join back up with the BSAA FOR THIS**

**Jake: what the fuck is Hnnngshsdh and what the FUCK is happening**

**Helena: THATS WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT**

**Carlos: OH SHIT CHRIS IS STOMPING OUT TO THE PARKING LOT.**

**Rebecca: HE TEXTED ME SAYING HE WAS COMING TO THE LAB OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO**

**Jill: ASK. QUESTIONS. YOURE GOOD AT THAT. Chris trusts you I mean he knows you're good with Leon, especially after you talked some sense into the both of them during the thing with Arias**

**Rebecca: guys I am just a little gal….I can't handle this shdksskdkd**

**Sherry: STOP TEXTING THE GROUP CHAT LEON IS SITTING ON THE COUCH IN MY OFFICE COMPLAINING**

**Carlos: !!!!!!!! WHATS HE SAYING??!?!?!!**

**Sherry: SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!!**

* * *

Leon let out a frustrated yell into one of the decorative pillows on Sherry's couch.

"I'm so fucking mad at him! Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall and it’s so _irritating_!”

“What did he even do?” Sherry was already preparing to take mental notes, slipping her phone under her desk.

Leon crossed his arms and reclined back on the couch, arms crossed over his chest. He let out a few angry huffs before reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “He forgot about our anniversary.”

Sherry let out a gasp and looked at the calendar. April thirtieth was here already? Coming in hot was May first. _TOMORROW._ "HE WHAT?"

“I asked him if he had anything special planned for tomorrow and he was all ‘what’s so special about May first?’ Like, Jesus Christ, he may as well have just cracked my copy of _Brain Salad Surgery_ across his knee while he was at it,” Leon spat, “that really fucking...that really hurt my feelings.”

He huffed again from the couch, followed by a few sniffles, and Sherry’s heart stung. She’d seen Leon upset plenty of times, sure, but angry crying Leon was extremely rare. The last time she had seen him this distraught was that time Pants slipped out the front door and was missing for 2 days. 

"And on top of that, my fucking wedding ring is missing! I took it off to take a shower this morning because it’s still too loose and I was so sure I set it on the sink,” Leon continued, “I swear to any god listening, if it fell in the toilet I will set the entire office on fire.”

Sherry leaned over her desk as far as she could, resting a hand on Leon’s. “I’ll kill him if you want?”

“You can’t kill my husband,” he deadpanned. “Not until I take out a huge life insurance policy on him. And even then, you have to wait a few years so it’s not suspicious.” 

They were quiet for a few moments before Sherry spoke again. “Wanna go get Taco Bell?”

Leon sighed. “Lemme grab my keys.” 

* * *

**Hnnngshsdh**

**Sherry: I’m going to kill Chris Redfield**

Rebecca cringed reading that message and tucked her phone in her pocket. Chris was sitting in a chair across from her, ranting about the morning.

“Does he think I’m a fucking idiot? Of course I didn't forget about our anniversary! I’m just trying to plan something special for Christ’s sake!” He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. 

Younger Redfield came around the corner with two cups, handing one to Rebecca. “Caramel macchiato with chocolate chips and whipped cream.” She glanced over at Chris’s sour expression. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Ha ha! That’s so cute, my little sister made a funny joke,” Chris replied mockingly. “Shut the fuck up! Leon thinks I forgot our anniversary when I fucking didn’t, I’m just trying to surprise him with something.” His brow quirked when Claire’s eyes widened, absolutely flabbergasted.

“Why-why would you-why?” She demanded, hands on her hips like an angry mom. “Are you fucking dumb? You KNOW Leon hates being surprised! You’ve been married for six years come tomorrow!”

 _“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout-_! LEON LOVES WHEN I SURPRISE HIM-”

“OKAY,” Rebecca yelled, effectively silencing the feuding Redfields, “Chris, what exactly did you _say_ to Leon?”

“Well, he asked me if I had anything planned for May first,” he explained, “and I knew he was trying to see if I was doing anything for our anniversary and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, so I said no, what’s so special about May first. Then he just...stomped off!”

God, Chris saw it so clearly in his head, Leon sitting in their bed watching him get dressed with those sleepy eyes and bed head, wearing one of his shirts like always. As soon as Chris had replied, his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits and he stood up on the mattress with no pants on, glaring at him before hopping down and stomping into the bathroom with his fists clenched at his sides. He'd slammed the door shut so hard, Chris thought their ridiculous Christmas card photo was going to fall off the wall.

“...Were you trying to be sarcastic? Because you can’t be sarcastic, Chris,” Claire said, taking a sip of her coffee and interrupting his flashback.

His eyes narrowed. “You know what-”

"NO. No, no, no. There is no _'you know whats,'_ Chris!" Rebecca cut in. "You cannot be sarcastic, you're far too dry!"

Chris nearly folded in half. "What am I going to do?"

The two women were quiet for a few moments before Claire spoke. "We're going to fix this. 'We' being us, your friends, not you. You just do whatever your little surprise is and leave the rest to us."

Chris's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Leave it to us, Chris," Rebecca said, supplying a reassuring pat on his shoulder, "we're usually fixing your messes anyways!"

* * *

**Carlos: YO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HIM HE SEEMS EVEN MORE MAD.**

When Chris walked past his desk, Carlos set his phone down. "Chris man, are you okay?"

Chris let out a shaky breath. "No. No I am not okay." 

Carlos opened his mouth to reply but was quickly cut off when one of the rookies called the captain. A large group was crowded around said rookie who was staring at his phone.

"Hey Cap! I heard a rumor you and Agent Kennedy over at DSO were calling it quits, but I didn't believe it til I saw this…"

He flashed his phone which had, of all people, Sherry Birkin's Snapchat story up. It was a picture of Leon with a brown paper bag in his lap and both his hands covering his face, captioned "'they forgot my diablo sauce and I think this'll be what makes me finally scream cry, that's it im calling corporate' - Leon Scott Kennedy in the year of our lord 2019." 

"I noticed he's not wearing a wedding ring, this mean he's back on the market? I can think of plenty in the BSAA wanting to take him out for a spin!"

Carlos would swear up and down he heard every joint in Chris' neck crack and that jarring chord from Monty Python that played anytime something bad happened when the captain whipped around. Chris nearly put his fist through the desk as he brought it down on the mahogany, only an inch away from the rookie's face, who looked ready to piss his pants.

"I really hope you like hospital food, you fucking shit, because if you ever say _ANYTHING_ like that about my husband again, I will _TEAR_ your goddamn spine _OUT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING ASS!"_

The ground shook as Chris stormed off into his office and slammed the door. _God what was with everyone slamming doors today?_

Jill poked her head out of her own office. “What the hell was that?” 

Everyone was quiet before one of the other rookies pointed at the one with the phone in his hand. “Perkins did it.”

“Snitch,” Perkins snarled before turning his attention to Jill, “Oh c’mon Commander. I wasn’t trying to be mean.”

Another rookie snorted at her desk. “Perkins, you got a mean streak wider than your backside,” she drawled. 

Jill rolled her eyes. “Carlos, can I talk to you in my office?”

The whole floor went _“ooooooooo!”_ like a class of fifth graders.

“This is why the captain doesn’t like you guys,” he called over his shoulder before pulling the door shut behind him.

Jake was splayed out in the middle of the floor, balancing a fidget spinner on his nose while Agent Harper spun it with a flick of her finger. When he saw Carlos he sat up, knocking the toy off his face. Helena clicked her tongue in annoyance, falling back against the couch with her arms crossed.

“Okay dudes, we have a big problem. I’m pretty sure Sherry is far too consumed by bloodlust and wants to kick Chris’s teeth in,” Jake said.

Jill shook her head. “Oh, she’ll get over it. We’ve all wanted to kick Chris’s teeth in at one point.”

Carlos squawked. “Not me! That’s my bro, babe!”

Jill raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so are we just going to pretend that one Superbowl Sunday episode never happened?”

Carlos held up a placating hand. “I should have never tackled him like that, I was drunk out of my mind and he won that game of cornhole fair and square.”

The door to Jill’s office busted open and in rushed Claire and Rebecca.

“Oh good, you guys are all here, “ Claire huffed, out of breath. “Has everyone been keeping up with the group chat?” When everyone nodded, she continued, “so I don’t know what Chris’s surprise is, and according to Sherry, Leon is still pissed. Also she is formulating a very intense plot to kill my brother and I don’t...hate it?”

Rebecca cut in. “So Claire and I were talking, do the loudspeakers over in the training yard still work?”

Jill nodded. 

“So we were thinking we could do things that reminded them of their wedding? Y’know? Under the stars, we’ll play music from the old playlist, and I remembered that they had that really good red velvet cake from that bakery uptown,” Rebecca explained. “I think if we can set that up, Leon’ll calm down enough that Chris can give him his present and prove that he didn’t forget!”

Jill pulled her into a tight hug. “Ugh, you sweet little professor, what would we do without you?

Claire offered a hand. “Yeah, Rebecca and I can go uptown and get the cake, can we count on you guys to set the courtyard up?”

Jill nodded. “Alright team, hands in.”

Carlos scoffed. “What is this, an episode of _Hannah Montana_?”

“Hands. In!”

“Okay, sorry, please don’t hurt me.” 

Jake joined last, triumphantly yelling, “Hell yeah, Hnnngshsdh!”

Helena looked over sharply. “How did you make that sound with your mouth?”

* * *

Everything had been set up ready to go, the training yard cleared and a few little battery-operated lanterns scattered about for some light. A blanket was laid out in the middle, directly in line with the big dipper in the night sky. Of course, as life so often went for those in the BSAA and the DSO, it was very quickly ruined.

Rebecca was jumping up and down giddily. “You guys! This is perfect!” 

Sherry had shown up a couple minutes ago, and had to be physically restrained by Jake so she didn’t charge into Chris’s office to provide a well-earned ass beating. Jake was currently holding her hand, explaining that as much as he hated jar-head, she practically forced them to be friends so now she had to suffer the consequences. 

Jill checked her phone and looked around. “Has anyone heard from Hunnigan?”

Helena’s phone started ringing in her pocket. “Speak of the devil,” she joked, answering it. “Hunnigan, what’s up?” Hunnigan was loud on the other end, but undecipherable. Helena’s eyes widened. “WHAT? And he’s there now?! Did you not see the group chat I added you in?”

Everyone heard Hunnigan this time. “YOU KNOW I DON’T CHECK MY PHONE AT WORK, I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME. I CAN BARELY FIT A LUNCH BREAK IN AND YOU WANT ME TO SEE WHATEVER STUPID MEMES YOU FEEL LIKE SENDING ME?!?”

Carlos cringed. “Ouch.” 

“NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE!” Hunnigan presumably hung up, and Helena turned to everyone. 

“There’s been a reported B.O.W. sighting at an abandoned warehouse on the upper east side. And BSAA Golden Boy Chris Redfield showed up accompanied by none other than Agent Leon S. Kennedy!”

Then everything just snowballed from there.

* * *

Somewhere in the fight, Chris had gotten launched across the shipyard like a ragdoll, Carlos had gotten pinned under a falling beam, and Sherry had hit her head pretty hard, so everyone ended up in Medical. Rebecca had fallen asleep a while ago, so Claire had offered to drive her home. Carlos was lucky to make it out with just a sprained wrist, and poor Sherry had a busted lip, her once white shirt stained with bright red blood. Her normal fast healing wasn’t helping any, probably due to the stress. 

Jill, who had been sitting by the door, perked up when the doctor walked out. 

“I’m assuming you’re all here for Captain Redfield?” After confirming that, she went on, “his husband has been floating around the entire time, so he can probably fill you in. Other than a nasty bump to the head, a bit of bruising, and sprained ankle, he should be just fine. Agent Kennedy told me to let you all in, but just try not to overwhelm him.”

Carlos, Jill, Helena, Jake, and Sherry all filed in, already hearing the two argue in hushed tones. 

“How many times have I told you? No heroics!”

“Well, maybe don’t stand in the way of gigantic fists and I won’t feel the need to perform epic heroics!”

Leon was ready to retort, but stopped when he saw everyone standing by awkwardly. 

Jill broke the silence. “Chris, you’re fucking dumb.”

Chris made an offended noise. “Do I have ‘bully me’ written on my forehead or something?!”

“No, but I’m going to do it anyways. What the hell is with you today? Do you know how hard it was for us to-!” Jill screeched something unintelligible against Carlos’s hand, which suddenly covered her mouth. “Mrph?”

He glanced at Chris’s hand, which was interlocked with Leon’s, then back to her. Jill got the message.

“Whelp, Chris, glad to see you’re recovering we’re all going to go home now _BYE.”_ He grabbed Helena on his way out, dragging them towards the exit. 

Jake followed suit, with Sherry close behind. Before she was out she turned. “And just so you know, the next time you pull a stunt like that-hey!” Jake’s arm reached back in the room and grabbed her by the waist, yanking her out.

Leon stood up from his chair once the door shut. “Scoot.”

Chris obliged, moving over in his gurney. Leon kicked his shoes off and crawled in beside him, careful to avoid his bruised ribs and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I think…” he started, “I may have overreacted about this morning a _little_ bit.” 

Chris gave him a withering look. 

“Okay!” Leon huffed. “I definitely overreacted, and I am _very_ sorry. Happy?”

Chris shook his head. “Not really. Did you actually think I forgot our anniversary?”

“Well, when I asked if you had anything planned for tomorrow, well today, actually, you said no! So I just assumed-”

“I was being sarcastic!”

“Christopher Redfield, I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it again, you are far too dry for people to not take your sarcasm literally.” 

Chris thought about it for a moment. “Okay, maybe I could’ve said I had a surprise planned. Oh! Speaking of, close your eyes.”

Leon obliged, brow still furrowed in annoyance. “I swear to God, if it’s a lizard like last time-”

“It’s not a lizard! I promise,” Chris assured him, reaching into his pocket. He rejoiced in the fact that it wasn’t bent or heaven forbid, lost. He took Leon's hand, slipping his present on his finger. “Okay, open.” 

Leon blinked down at his hand, eyes brightening. “My wedding ring! I thought I lost it this morning!” It took a few more seconds before his brain caught up. “Wait a minute. You went and got my ring resized?”

Chris shrugged. “I’ve been trying to get your ring resized for years, but every time I'd set up an appointment, we’d end up getting called out or something else got in the way. Last year it was Jake’s broken foot, and we all remember how that one went.”

Leon looked away, embarrassed. “God, you must be so mad at me.”

“Of course I’m not mad! I mean I was, yeah, but I had Rebecca and Claire kinda help me see the light...oh god but then this rookie tried making a pass at you and I was ready to-

“-rip his spine out through his ass,” he and Leon finished in unison.

Chris was impressed. "You really know me too well. Remind me to kill whoever started a rumour that we were getting a divorce, by the way, how fucking rude. Everyone already tries hitting on you in front of me anyways, and they’ve seen what happens," he griped.

“God, I can’t believe I missed out on jealous Chris,” Leon grumbled, frown tugging at his lips. 

Chris cocked a brow. “Oh?”

Leon smirked, nuzzling closer. “I don’t know. Something about jealous Chris just...does it for me,” he purred against his neck. 

“Trust me, if I didn’t have a concussion I would be plowing you right now. But stop distracting me. Anyways, our friends tried to help me put together a nice night, and then work ruined it,” Chris shook his head with an exhausted groan, “and I’m just really sorry our sixth anniversary kinda went to shit.”

“Oh, so that must be why Rebecca left this cake in here while you were sleeping,” Leon offered, picking up the single slice of red velvet cake in a plastic box with two forks from the bedside table, “and Claire emailed me a copy of our wedding playlist.”

Chris silently thanked Claire and Rebecca while Leon clicked through his phone for a few seconds. A soft piano began to play before the lively trumpet joined in. 

Chris grinned, pulling Leon close. “We had our first dance to this.”

“Yeah, and you danced like you had two left feet,” Leon laughed as he opened their little box of cake, handing Chris a fork. “Still do, sometimes.”

Chris took a forkful and Leon followed suit, eyes twinkling. He smiled up at Chris, giving him a chaste kiss before clinking their forks together. “To us.”

_“Hold me close and hold me fast, the magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose…”_

Leon moaned as he took a bite. “Fuck, I forgot how good this cake was. We really know how to pick a wedding cake.”

Chris agreed with a muffled _mhm_ around his own mouthful of dessert. He chewed and swallowed before reaching up to wipe a bit of frosting from Leon’s lip with his thumb. He popped it in his own mouth, watching in enjoyment as Leon’s pupils dilated.

_“When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose..”_

They met halfway, Leon tasting cake and buttercream frosting on Chris’s lips as he teased the lower with his tongue. Chris moaned into his mouth, reaching between them to set the cake aside so neither toppled it over. Leon pulled back, reaching for it. 

_“When you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart, a world where roses bloom…”_

“Absolutely not, you are not going to seduce me just so you can have the rest of the cake to yourself,” he challenged, scooping up another forkful and shoving it in his mouth. 

“I’m not above it,” Chris admitted, laughing at Leon’s scandalized expression. Even still, the DSO agent leaned his head on his shoulder once again, smiling to himself when he felt Chris press a kiss to the crown of his head. 

“Happy anniversary,” he spoke quietly, taking Chris’s hand in his own and holding it tight against his chest.

“Happy anniversary to you, too,” Chris replied, pulling their locked hands over and kissing Leon’s knuckles. 

They sat in the quiet until the doctor returned, laughing and eating cake as they went through their entire wedding playlist. To hold each other close and muse on their years of marriage, to feel warm and happy in each other's company after this long, it was more than a satisfying end to the day. Their spark had yet to fizzle out, and as far as Leon was concerned, Chris would always be there to re-ignite it, making that warm glow return to his chest and fire stir in his belly. Today definitely was up there as one of the more memorable days, Leon had mused, Chris’s warm palm resting on his thigh. Maybe it wasn't the best of _anniversaries_ they’d shared, but it wasn’t one either would be forgetting anytime soon, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherry and Helena are overprotective of Leon and poor baby Chris just wants everyone to stop calling him dumb
> 
> As always, I appreciate all y'all's comments! I really need to remember to come through and reply to the recent ones, but I definitely see you!


	6. Family Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fleetwood Mac - Family Man
> 
> Chris and Leon's family grows by 2. And their life gets almost entirely uprooted. Ada Wong gets yelled at and almost breaks under the pressure. Everyone copes with Fleetwood Mac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back
> 
> uhhh here's the thing. I had more finals, got those done. then I hit a bad low, so I wrote this really long chapter that I also deleted because I hated it. Then I wrote this one in which I introduced my OCs from my daydreams, and I liked it. but was worried about what everyone would think. then i decided fuck it i want my OCs in it so imma just slap em in there. so sorry for my absence, here's a huge update, hope you enjoy YEET

"What are you doing?"

"...watching your ass jiggle when I smack it."

Leon rolled over onto his back, yawning as Chris groaned in disappointment.

"Well, there goes all my entertainment," Chris complained, crawling up the bed and plopping down beside him. He wrapped an arm around Leon's waist, who scooted closer and rested his head on his chest while he scrolled through his phone. The old record player Leon had picked up at a thrift store a while back sat on the nightstand, playing a Fleetwood Mac album. 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Leon set his phone down. "Wanna do nothing but lay in bed all day?"

Chris nodded. "Absolutely." 

Pants jumped up on the bed, followed closely by Kevin. The two felines paced around on the blankets before lying down.

Leon’s brow twitched, cuddled up to Chris with his chest making an exceptional pillow. “As much as I love ‘Caroline,’ can you move the needle back to ‘Seven Wonders’?”

“What’s the magic word?”

Leon frowned. “Do it or I won’t let you touch me for a week.”

“Oof, tough crowd tonight,” Chris shot back. Still, he obliged, moving the needle back towards what he thought, personally, was the best song on the album.

Leon shot up instantly. “Chris, this is-”

_“Walk down this road-”_

“Oh no, please stop.”

_“When this road gets rough, I fall down, I get up!”_

“You’re not doing this right now, I’m trying to _relax_.”

 _“I am what I am!-_ Oh, honeybee c’mon, let me serenade you, please? _-am what I am! A family man-”_

_“Chris!”_

“That’s not the next lyric!”

Leon tried to scream, which bubbled over with laughter as Chris pinned him to their bed, singing the chorus directly in his face. 

While Chris sang his heart out, Leon’s mind started floating elsewhere. If his life stayed exactly like this, in this moment, he didn’t think he could ever be mad about anything again.

Well, that was a lie. He could definitely be a flaming ball of fury sometimes, but he could deal. 

Of course, that never happens.

* * *

"Kids? Kids as in little tiny people? Made from us?”

Ada Wong was here, in the BSAA briefing room, giving Chris that signature gloating smirk. "What it says on the tin. Congrats on finally tying the knot, by the way."

Leon grit his teeth. "No, no you don't get to do that," he ground out, stomping towards her. She fell back, surprised when Leon sharply jammed a finger directly into her shoulder. "You don't get to waltz in here after seven years of radio silence and tell us about another one of Wesker's secret projects. Especially one you _knew_ about for nearly two decades!"

Ada huffed, searching around the room for help, completely out of character for her. Carlos was hanging back, glaring daggers, along with Jill. Nadia and D.C. were sat across from them, and Chris could feel the desire to fight someone radiating off Nadia. Of them all, D.C.'s expression was the softest, ever so empathetic, so he decided to cut in.

"You said you had evidence that made a strong case for the BSAA to take them into official custody," he said to Ada. "Are you going to show it to us?"

Ada broke away from Leon's state, and suddenly the giantess energy that she brought into every room was gone. She plugged a flash drive into the computer on the left hand side of the room, clumsily clicking on a few of the wrong files before opening up a video feed. 

“They were an experimental project, organized and backed by Wesker. He wanted to make his tyrants more inconspicuous, able to hide in a crowd. Still, he wanted them to be extremely overpowered. Instead of physical mutations, he wanted to focus on the capabilities of the human mind, very MK-Ultra esque. These girls? Came entirely from a tube of Chris and Leon’s DNA, and _their_ DNA got stretched by a taffy puller. Take a look at this.”

Surveillance video showed two figures, both dressed in black. 

"This one to the right. Last time I saw her, they were calling her Magdalena. Which is a ridiculous name, especially when you expect a 5 year-old to spell it-"

"Can you get on with it?"

Ada's eyes narrowed at Chris's outburst. "Anyways, she can manipulate large quantities of metal. Take a look."

On screen, the larger figure brought her arms down in a quick motion. A sheet of metal was pulled from the wall beside her. She lashed out towards the group of soldiers standing in her way, and the metal sheet spun at them wildly, knocking them off the walkway and giving them the chance to move.

"And the one on the left. They named her Roslyn. Equally ridiculous. But, this one really takes after you, Leon. Her abilities were nearly replicated by Neo-Umbrella-"

One of the surviving soldiers broke past Magadelena, and before she could throw anything his way, the other figure kicked out into the open air. A large arc of bioelectricity shot from the attack, hitting the mercenary and launching him off the roof. 

“With the C-virus,” Chris cut in, voice just above a whisper. “It’s how Piers beat HAOS.”

Everything in the room was deathly still. 

"Holy shit," Jill breathed. 

Chris turned to Leon, who hadn't said anything. He was looking at the screen, but his eyes were unfocused, staring at something miles away. He was shell shocked.

"...Leon?" Chris tried. When he got no response, he reached over and tentatively rested a hand on his shoulder.

Leon released the breath he was holding. Seemingly brought back into the moment, he grasped Chris's hand in his own. "How? How did it happen?"

"A combination of blood samples he collected from you, among other things. He kept them until he started working on the project in early 2000. These two," Ada pointed at the screen, "were officially debuted in early 2004 as cognitive 4 year-olds, taking part in thousands of experiments to test their psychokinetic abilities. Sensory deprivation was one of the most common ones."

"I should've known him asking for blood samples from S.T.A.R.S. members back in '98 seemed suspicious," Chris snarled.

"Wait," Jill spoke from the back. "Was any of mine used for these two?"

Ada shook her head. "No. He said your sample was too degraded."

Leon's free hand white-knuckled the railing he'd been leaning on. 

"Ada. Where did Wesker get a sample of my blood before 2000?"

She looked away, and Chris could see the look of shame pass over her face, if only for a second.

"I'm going to ask you one more time," he growled. "Where. Did Wesker. Get a sample. Of my blood?"

Ada met his glare and Leon didn't falter under her gaze, eyes heavy with remorse. She took a deep breath. "I gave it to him."

"After I took a bullet for you."

"Leon I-"

Leon turned his back on her. "I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this, not anymore." 

"Leon, wait!" Ada tried to follow him before he quickly reared around on her.

"Enough of your _bullshit!"_

It was like everyone in the room had been simultaneously slapped. The venom dripping from Leon's tone made even Nadia recoil. 

"Wesker made _kids_ from us! _Fucking human beings_ ! And you've known this whole time! You knew when I saw you _in Spain,_ and you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was still _working_ for Wesker at the time, Leon. I couldn't tell you!"

"Yeah, you weren't supposed to do a lot of shit, but you still did it anyways. You remember Krauser? You were going to let him kill me. You were going to let me die without knowing that somewhere in some facility, Albert _fucking_ Wesker had combined Chris and I's DNA in a fucking blender and made not one, _but TWO kids!_ Maybe no one has ever asked you this and that's why you are the way you are, but what the _fuck_ is _wrong_ with you?!"

By the end of his rant, he was panting. Ada's eyes were glued to the floor, and Chris almost gasped as she reached up and wiped at something on her face.

"...I'm sorry, Leon. I really am," she replied broknely. It was the most emotion Chris had ever heard from her.

Leon stormed out of the room.

The room sank into an uncomfortable silence. 

"Alright. Carlos," Chris started, "I need you to get in contact with the DSO, and get me Agent Harper and Agent Birkin here, now."

Carlos shook his head. "Sherry's on an assignment, best I can do is Muller."

Chris nodded. "Alright, we'll make it work." He turned his attention to Jill. "You, I need the best F.O.S agent in the business, can you do that?"

"You mean Hunnigan? Got it covered," Jill affirmed, following closely behind Carlos as he exited the briefing room.

"Nadia, D.C., I need you two to get us a chopper."

Nadia frowned. "What? We don't even have a location yet!" 

Chris turned to Ada, who almost flinched. "And you're going to help me with that."

* * *

From Ada's data collection, the two had been off destroying any and all remaining abandoned Umbrella bases in North America. 

"Wesker implanted a chip in both their necks in case they lost," Ada had explained to Chris, pointing at a map of notable locations the girls had been tracked at. "They never actually did escape, but Magdalena would mold the metal floor around herself and Roslyn moved at the speed of light. It was easier to keep tabs on them."

Chris frowned. "And they don't know about it?"

"Not even a clue. Roslyn's had to be modified so it wouldn't explode and damage her spine anytime she absorbed electricity from a source," Ada replied. 

She was seated across from them now on the chopper, headed to an old solar array in the Mojave Desert. Jake was passed out in his seat, and Helena was fiddling with a knife, looking incredibly uncomfortable with the mood in the helicopter. 

“I mean...they sound pretty cool,” came from the pilot’s seat.

“Carlos,” Jill said sharply.

“...Sorry.”

From beside Chris, Leon spoke.

"I shouldn't have said that to you," he told Ada. "I knew I crossed a line once you couldn't look me in the eyes anymore."

Ada sighed. "I shouldn't have hidden this from you for as long as I did," she said back. "I thought that maybe I was keeping them safe, in a way. Wesker had me teaching them stealth, speech, lock picking, and they grew on me," she smiled fondly, though her eyes betrayed her. 

Leon could recognize it a mile away. She was _tired,_ utter exhausted. Like himself, the years began to show on her face. Years of running, fighting, hiding, and the stress this life entailed probably sat like a heavy weight on her shoulders. 

"But it started to eat away at me, after a while."

Leon scoffed. "I'm sorry, is the Great Ada Wong admitting to feeling...guilt?"

She rolled her eyes, and just like that was back to her old self. "Make sure to get your camera out, this only ever happens once every hundred years." She glanced away before looking back once more. "And if you tell anyone I cried, I'll light you on fire."

Leon chucked dryly before leaning into Chris's side, resting his head on his shoulder. 

"Magdalena and Roslyn. Those sound like something some rich lady at the fancy high school up the street from the house would name her kids," Leon muttered.

Chris shrugged, lightly so he wouldn't shove Leon off. "They're biblical names. At least I'm pretty sure." 

Leon pulled back, fixing him with a skeptical look. "How do you know that?"

"Wesker had a penchant for it. Magdalena, for Mary Magdalene, the disciple everyone forgets. And Roslyn, probably for the chapel that's supposed to be the final resting place of the Holy Grail."

Ada nodded along. "I'm actually impressed. Captain Brawn might actually have a brain in that head."

"Hey," Leon hissed defensively. "Just because I apologized for what I said doesn't mean I forgive you just yet." He crossed his arms defiantly. "And Chris is very smart, actually...so shut up."

Nightfall was approaching quickly, and nearly everyone had fallen asleep. Sometime ago, Leon had popped an ear bud in, letting Chris use the other. 

_“Walk down this road, in the cool of night..."_

Leon crossed his arms over his chest, cuddling closer into Chris's side.

_"Don’t know what’s wrong, but I do know what’s right -"_

He perked up when Chris tapped his knee. He had pulled his phone out, a file open. Leon paused the music.

"While I would've liked actual photos of the girls, Ada sent me a copy of their last recorded files before we killed Wesker back in '09."

Leon took the phone in his own hands.

_Subject Class: A2_

_Roslyn (R/K)_

_Behavioral analysis: beginning to question authority, increased irritability, foul-mouthed, increased appetite, decrease in sleep, optimistic and playful_

_Subject A2 has exhibited impressive control over blossoming abilities, at some points controlling electrical impulses on a microscopic level. We believe this is due to limited build up of stress, as A2 is more prone to temper tantrums than A1, proving already to be a problem. When not throwing a fit, can be found playing pranks on the staff. So far, Carl's keys have "gone missing" four times. Loud and outspoken personality, though exhibits A1's same shyness when meeting new people. Metabolism is increasing due to output of energy, remind kitchens to increase carb intake. Is also beginning to complain about lack of sleep, remind med-bay to increase melatonin dosage._

He slid to the next.

_Subject Class: A1_

_Magdalena (R/K)_

_Behavioral analysis: achievement oriented, self-disciplined, exhibiting signs of anxiety and shyness, decrease in appetite, increase in sleep, determined and hardworking._

_Subject A1 is proving to be self-reliant, although quickly developing a hypochondriac approach to certain tasks. Even still, Wesker believes A1 will develop dominant personality over A2 once over shy phase. Strong in abilities, i.e. molding metal door to her form in order to make a crude form of armor; however, abilities could be further advanced. Work closely with her on this to remove mental block holding her back. Possibly developing pica, found chewing on pencil erasers in the staff lounge after complaining about dinner. Will currently only eat spaghetti. Remind staff to coax her into eating high in iron, otherwise will be tube fed nutrition. Increase in sleep, sometimes breaching 12-13 hours. Remind med-bay to closely monitor thyroid._

"Claire went through a phase like that," Chris said, "where she chewed on anything she could get her hands on. It was just after our parents died. Mom did it too, when she was pregnant."

Leon went back to Roslyn's file. "Hopefully this one has become less of a handful." 

"Well these _are_ from when they were nine. They're twenty now, so I imagine they've grown out of it," Chris replied. "I don't mind cooking spaghetti every night, though."

Leon leaned back against his seat. "If they even want to come back with us. Don't get your hopes up Chris."

* * *

They split up into teams, Chris with Carlos descending down into the labs, Leon, Ada, and Jill covering the common areas in the facility, and Jake and Helena scouting the outside. 

The facility had definitely fallen into ruin over time, broken glass scattered across the floors and a fine layer of dust covering everything. The labs had been destroyed almost completely, leaving nothing behind but broken beakers, charts, computers, and the like. 

Coming to a fork in the corridor, Chris and Carlos paused. 

Carlos gestured down the left with the barrel of his rifle. "I'll take this side, you take that side?" 

Chris hesitated. "I'm reluctant to split up. Think our comms will work this far down?"

Carlos pressed a finger to his ear. "Chris and I are pretty far underground, are we still coming in clear?" 

“I hear you loud and clear, Carlos,” came Hunnigan’s voice.

"We hear you up here," said Jake.

"Ditto," replied Jill.

"Alright people. This is just a regular retrieval, we've all done it once before. Find the girls, get them into protective custody, get out," explained Leon.

We're at a split," Chris said. "Carlos is going to take the left, I'm taking the right."

There was a beat before he heard Leon's quiet reply. 

"Promise me you'll be careful?"

Chris pressed his comm. "I promise."

"Aw, is widdle honeybee concerned?" Carlos teased. 

Chris punched him in the arm. "Oh knock it off and help me find our weird test tube babies." 

Carlos started down the left. "Yell if you need me!" 

"Will do," said Chris and he went right. 

The right passage opened into another lab with a large glass window. He went there first, quickly realizing he was looking out into a missile silo. 

"Now what would a solar array need a missile silo for? Seems suspicious," Chris said into his comm. 

Ada replied back. "You know how Umbrella is. Nothing is ever inconspicuous, is it?"

He heard the sound of keys typing. “Looks to me like this was a hidden missile silo back in World War II. Which means it was just conveniently abandoned just in time for Umbrella to move back in. There shouldn’t be any active missiles on base, but be careful.” 

“Thanks, Hunnigan.”

A few of the files around the lab were marked confidential, so Chris tucked them away into his bag. He'd look at them later. A set of stairs led out into the silo itself, and another set going up towards the top of the silo, but there was nowhere else to go. He huffed, taking a seat on the stairs and using the time to pick up the first file he saw. 

Subject A1 _: Incident Report 12/14/08_

_A1 very rarely acts out in moments of aggression like A2 does. Nonetheless this one definitely inherited the "Redfield Temper," as Dr. Wesker called it. At 3:43 pm, A1 removed the ceiling pipes in the chem lab in the west wing, throwing them at staff before ripping up the floor and launching the pieces wildly. While attacking other staff with her cable belt, one of our lab techs was able to effectively tranquilize her. She will be moved into isolation._

Chris couldn't help the small smirk that spread across his face. "Atta girl."

Underneath was another sheet, which he started reading.

_Subject A2: Incident Report 2/11/09_

_Subject A2, Roslyn, has a temper completely unrivaled. She shut down the left wing's entire silo at 12:05 pm, after refusing to participate in today's trials. Time spent in the Tank seems to be effective. She will be-"_

The rest of the file was too damaged to read. _What the hell was the Tank?_

His brow furrowed, and he looked up to the sound of metal colliding with metal. He tucked the folder back in his bag.

At the mouth of the silo, several ropes dropped down. Down them slid several soldiers, who immediately began firing on him. 

Chris ducked back into the lab as shots ricocheted around his feet. 

"Mercs, coming in hot!" Jake yelled over the comms. 

"Yeah, I know! They're shooting at me!" Chris said back, knocking out the glass on one of the windows.

"Chris! I'm on my way back," came Carlos's response.

He fired a few rounds out into the silo, killing one and taking down two more. He ducked down again as the last few fired on him. He these last few were good at dodging, he'd already gone through a clip.

Quickly, Chris reloaded as he heard the footfalls of an overzealous soldier running towards the stairs. Just as they rounded the corner, they were met with the barrel of his gun. 

Which jammed. 

So Chris did the next logical thing, punched him in the face. 

More soldiers moved down the silo, and the others were closing in on him. He moved up the next set of stairs, hoping to lead them to higher ground. Fixing the jam on his gun, he was able to take a few more out before he had to reload the clip. He dodged a few shots behind another set of stairs leading to a higher landing, trading fire with an assault rifle. He was nearing the top of the tower now, another clip slowly being drained until he had a few shots left. 

The merc fired, and Chris felt the impact in his ribs. His foot slipped. 

He fired once more, shooting the merc dead, before he knocked the rail off the side of the landing and went over the edge. 

"Chris!"

He heard Carlos's voice as he gripped the rail with one hand, the other holding his side. Chris dared to look down, seeing his feet dangling over the darkness of the silo below. 

"Carlos, if you let me fall-!"

"I'm coming!" 

Chris could hear him running up all the stairs to reach him at the highest landing near the silo's opening. A fall from this point wouldn't kill him necessary, but it would definitely break his leg or cripple him.

Before Carlos reached the last steps, Chris looked up in horror as the metal railing creaked and began to give under his weight. 

"No, no no. Please just hold on for two seconds," he begged, but to no avail.

"Chris, no!" Carlos dove for his hand, but just as he reached out, the railing snapped off, and Chris was plummeting down below. 

He didn't even scream. He was so in shock that he was even falling. He was going to hit the ground straight on his back. This fall _was_ going to kill him.

Before he hit the ground, something snaked around his waist. The wind was knocked from his lungs as a metal cable caught him, and he couldn't catch his breath as he was swung away from the ground. 

Chris looked to see a figure dressed in black on the other end, another cable in its other hand reaching the top of the silo. The figure firmly planted its feet on the silo wall, waiting for Chris to stop spinning until it fed him more cable so he could reach the ground with his feet.

He heard Carlos train his rifle on the figure as it descended down to the floor. Once Chris recovered from his shock, it nearly started anew as he met sharp, brown eyes. Eyes he'd seen a thousand times before in his own _fuckin'_ face.

The figure pulled the black scarf down from the lower half of her face. Her dark hair was cropped just below her chin, most of it pulled off her squared face in a bun. She nearly came up to Chris's height, standing at around 5'9 with a bit of bulk. A prominent scar ran across the length of her eyebrow. 

"Your name is Chris? Tell me your last name in Redfield, I beg you." Her voice didn't match her in the slightest, incredibly soft spoken. 

"That depends," he replied. "Who are you?" 

"You are him." Before she could say anything else, her attention turned up towards the sound of more gunfire. “Follow me.”

* * *

"Chris? Can you hear me?"

Leon growled in frustration, firing over the desk he was using as a barricade. He heard Jill grunt in pain beside him, a bullet ricocheting close to her head. 

Ada weaved between desks, moving closer to them while avoiding the barrage of bullets coming their way. 

"Did you know about this?" 

She fired off a round, taking down a merc with a deadly headshot. 

"Do I look like I knew about this?" Ada snapped at him. "I shouldn't have hid the girls from you, I know that now-" She paused from her apology to fire off another round. "But I already said I was sorry, so quit blaming things on me!" 

Leon shot over the desk, shooting a soldier in the shoulder and making him drop his weapon. "I wouldn't blame you for so many things if you weren't behind so many things _all the time!"_

"Can you two have your ex-lover's spat later! We're kinda in the middle of something," Jill screamed over the commotion. 

Leon went to fall back behind another desk, failing to notice that he'd left himself exposed. A stray bullet grazed his kneecap. 

A guttural scream left his throat as he toppled to the ground, immediately holding a hand to the wound. Blood poured between his fingers. 

He swallowed as one of the soldiers moved closer. Ada and Jill couldn't do anything, still pinned down by the gunfire, they couldn't even see him writhing on the ground in pain. The barrel of a gun was in his face, and he met the eyes of the merc standing behind it, grinning maniacally.

Nothing came but the impact of something landing next to him. The gun was wrenched away as the merc received a swift kick to the ribs that sparked blue, sending him flying into the wall on the opposite side of the room. 

Nearly everyone in the room froze, except Ada, who used the distraction to her advantage. She tossed a flash bang over her makeshift barricade, and everything erupted in bright light. 

As Leon’s vision adjusted, whoever kicked the merc was on a warpath, firing out arcing strikes of lightning from its punches, from sharp kicks. The room crackled with electricity as blinded soldiers were launched and right. The figure moved swiftly, and struck like a viper.

Jill used the opportunity to pull Leon to safety, as the figure gave one last strike with a mighty roar. A roundhouse kick sent out a bolt, effectively sending the final soldiers into oblivion. 

The figure nearly keeled over, hands splayed across its knees as it breathed heavily. Leon now could see it was a young woman, muddy hair pulled up, tanned skin, and small build. 

She looked at him, deep blue eyes heavy with concern. 

His own widened. "Holy shit"

She looked him up and down with a gasp. 

"Holy shit. You're...you're you!!" As if forgetting how tired she was, the girl jumped up and down with glee. "Oh my god, you're Leon Kennedy! There's no way you're not." She looked past him. "Oh, hey Ada, long time no see."

"Hey, kiddo," she replied, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. 

The girl laughed. "Fuck man, wait until Maggie sees you. She's gonna lose it! Oh! Uh," she stuck her hand out towards Leon. "I'm Roslyn. They made me from you."

Leon eyed the gesture warily, instead holding a blood covered hand up. "And I'm bleeding."

"Oh shit!" Roslyn pulled her hand back. "Okay, yeah. Let's find Maggie then."

“Too late, found you first,” came another voice. Up from the stairs leading out of the offices came another young lady, presumably Maggie, followed by Chris, who was holding his side, and Carlos.

Roslyn turned, eyes brightening. “There you are! Oh, and you’re Chris Redfield!” Her brow quirked (in the same way his own did, Leon noticed) as she looked past Chris. “Who’s that guy?”

Carlos tilted his head in confusion. “Who are you?”

Roslyn planted her hands firmly on her hips. “I asked you first.”

Carlos mirrored her, mockingly. “I asked you second.”

“Holy shit! Did you get shot?” Chris broke the moment, bending down to Leon’s side. Jill was wrapping his knee with gauze from the first aid kit she kept in her bag. 

“He’s lucky it just grazed him,” she said to Chris. “Leon, you’re getting up there in age. You can’t be taking bullets like that anymore,” She teased him wearily, like a scolding grandma.

“Eh,” Leon waved her off. “I just got shot a _little_ bit.”

Off to the side, Magdalena bumped Roslyn with her elbow. “You take after that one.” She leaned back, peeking behind her. “Hey, Ada. Haven’t seen you in a few years.” 

Ada did a mock salute with her gun. “Still have that cable belt I gave you?"

“Basically an expert with it now.”

It was Jake, and Helena who came hustling in next. Helena was covered in blood, and Jake looked like he'd been dragged through the desert. 

“Outside is secure,” she breathed out, panting heavily. "Are you guys okay?"

"Leon got shot."

_"Grazed!"_

Meanwhile, Jake's attention was focused on their attackers. He kicked the foot of one laying face down on the floor to make sure they were dead before rolling them over. The tactical vest bore no insignia. "Who the hell are these guys?"

"Probably private mercenaries," Ada replied. "Those two," she pointed at the girls, "are worth more than any of you can imagine. Dozens of underground companies are looking to collect any data on them, especially as a marked "incomplete" Wesker project."

"They probably tracked us from the last known signal of these," Magdalena cut in, gesturing towards Roslyn. 

The woman pulled something out of her pocket, and opened her fists for everyone to see. A pair of computer chips, one with a short antenna and both full of dried blood rested in her palm.

Ada looked at her, confused. "Wait, you know about those?"

Roslyn rolled her eyes. "You think ol' Albert didn't tell us about them? Dude was a textbook evil guy." She hunched her back, rubbing her hands as if she were scheming. _"Foolish little girls,"_ she began in a voice that was obviously mocking the late scientists/bane of their existence, _"I can pick up your location anywhere in the world with the chips implanted in your neck, hohoho!"_

"He didn't laugh like _santa!_ " Magdalena snarled, smacking her in the arm. "But yeah, Wesker couldn't keep his mouth shut when it came to his evil plots." 

Ada glanced between them. “And how did you remove them?”

Pocketing the chips, Roslyn shrugged. “I know a guy.”

Leon grunted as Chris helped him up off the floor, arm wrapped around his waist while Leon leaned against his shoulder. 

"If there's any more of those mercenaries, they'll no doubt be swarming this place once they realize this whole unit has gone dark. We need to get back to the chopper," he ground out, wincing as he tried to put weight on his knee.

"Then we better move, Jill take point," Chris said. "Carlos, keep us covered. The rest of you, keep an eye on those two."

* * *

They were somewhere over the Ozarks when they started asking questions.

“Ow,” Leon hissed, squirming as Chris looked over his knee. 

“They’re probably gonna try and stick you on desk duty for a couple weeks until this heals,” Chris looked up when Leon groaned. “And if they don’t, I’ll make them. This right here was a close call. Could you imagine if this had actually gone into your knee? Or hit you a little higher in the leg?”

Leon took Chris’s hand off his knee, intertwining their fingers. “I’d be okay,” he replied surely. “I have you to carry me to safety.”

“Uh! Actually!” Jill’s voice came from the cockpit, and the two turned to find her practically crawling out of her seat. Carlos had one hand tightly wound in the strap of her tactical vest, holding her back. “As I recall, I was the one who pulled you to safety, not Muscles McGee over there!”

“Okay fine, I have him to carry me to the rescue vehicle, happy?”

“I am satisfied, for the time being yes,” Jill retorted with a scowl, falling back into her seat.

Chris matched Leon's delighted expression, rubbing a thumb against his skin and making his husband practically swoon.

“So you guys are like...together?”

They glanced over at Magdalena who eyed them expectantly, arms crossed. Oh right, they had guests.

“Uh, yeah,” Chris answered. “Yeah, we’ve been together for what? Ten years?” he looked to Leon for reassurance, who nodded.

Magdalena chuckled. “That’s a relief. Wesker used to tell us that you two hated each other. I was totally ready to be in the middle of a custody battle.” 

Roslyn spoke up beside her, scooting closer to be in the conversation. “I’m not so convinced.” Her eyes passed between Leon and Chris before finally settling on the former. “You, skinny. If I really came from your DNA...what’s my favorite color?”

Leon laughed, shaking his head. “You can’t actually be serious! There’s no way for me to-” he cut himself off, eyeing her up and down. “Black.”

Roslyn gasped. “You _are_ my dad! Oh man, this is awesome,” she turned to Maggie. “Dude! We get two dads for the price of one! And they _don’t hate each other!”_

Maggie was not amused by her sister’s energy. “Let’s talk where we're headed. We’re not going into custody...are we?”

Chris and Leon were quiet for a minute, conversing in that silent language only couples developed over time. It was Chris who decided to break down the plan. 

“It’s protective custody. We’ll keep you over at the BSAA _but_ -!” he enunciated that last bit when he saw the woman ready to cut him off, “you two are going to be _my_ responsibility. I’ll give you both free roam of the facility, and _no one_ is going to do any sort of testing on you unless you’re willing to participate. Is that okay?”

Maggie listened intently, and when Chris was done she looked to Roslyn. 

The other girl shrugged. “I mean, I’m sick of being on the run, Mags. Kinda want clean water, a bed, and three meals a day. We get that, right?”

She directed that last question to Chris, who nodded. “Yes, you get all that.”

“Then I wanna go,” Roslyn decided. 

It came down to Magdalena’s decision. She glanced around at everyone in the chopper, Ada giving her that signature smirk, Helena and Jill waiting to hear their answer. 

When she landed on Jake, he sat up in his seat. “Word of advice? Take it. I work with that one,” he gestured at Leon, “and my lady down at the DSO, and it’s the best decision I’ve made. I can’t make you take it, but he and Jarhead’ll take care of you.”

She deliberated with herself for another moment before she met their awaiting gaze.

“Fine. I’ll go too. But I want my own room.” 

* * *

It was an adjustment.

Magdalena (who immediately let everyone know she preferred to be called Maggie, and calling her by her full name warranted her shifting any metal floors underneath the perpetrator to make them fall directly on their ass) and Roslyn had to stay in the BSAA until they could get the transmitter situation worked out. Leon and Chris were trying to find a buyer for the modest suburban home since it didn't have the space for their new additions but to no avail, and Leon was completely out of commission in the field until his knee healed up. In the meantime, they spent most of their time with the girls, getting to know them, and trying to bond. 

Maggie took after Chris, caring, compassionate, and outspoken. On walks in the courtyard, she could identify all the plants and insects, finding snails she proudly presented to Chris and Leon. 

Chris stuck his head in her room, doing his daily check in. Their bedrooms were just empty offices, with cots and desks and a couple shelves, incredibly modest. Every surface was full of books, books over mines, over metallurgy, and strangely enough a biography of Ozzy Osbourne, which he assumed Roslyn had probably left in there. 

Maggie was seated at the computer. She turned in the chair, removing one of her headphones. On the screen, Chris recognized _Thief II: The Metal Age._ She’d been playing it obsessively since Barry had gifted it to her after digging through some of Moira's old things. He'd clapped Chris on the back jovially, saying "welcome to fatherhood." 

“Oh, hey Chris. What’s up?” 

“Nothing, nothing important. Uh, everything okay...with you?” He asked awkwardly, and inwardly wanted to smack himself in the face. 

Her eyes narrowed skeptically. “Yeah...everything’s...everything’s cool,” she replied slowly.

“Good, good!” He stood in the doorway a little bit longer, Maggie still staring at him expectantly. “Okay, I’m gonna go bother Leon now.”

He left and shut her door behind him, immediately cursing at himself. _How was Leon so good at this?_

“Remember, I helped raise Sherry,” Leon supplied as he walked by. “You’re talking to yourself again.”

“Smartass!”

“Thank you!”

Roslyn was on the complete opposite end, taking after Leon in terms of looks and snark. She was practically bouncing off the walls 24/7, the constant flow of electricity keeping her energized. She was growing a huge collection of movies instead of books, and unlike her sister was much more into the sci-fi and horror genre. Up on the wall above her bed she’d hung a _Re-Animator_ poster Chris had found in the garage. It was strange, considering she herself had practically grown up in a sci-fi horror movie, but Chris and Leon let her have her likes and dislikes.

Both the girls were very excited to finally spend time with each other in which they weren't destroying former Umbrella bases and private mercenary companies. At twenty years-old, they played their first game of Connect Four, which Maggie won. 

"No fair! You cheated!" Roslyn insisted. 

"How? How could I cheat? It's Connect Four!" 

It ended with Chris and Leon having to pry them apart.

Still, they sometimes had bad days.

Maggie preferred to spend those days keeping busy. She'd spend all day in her room on her computer and all night on the roof, eating her comfort food: spaghetti.

Chris had walked into the meager break room kitchen one night, absentmindedly scratching at his belly while looking for a midnight snack. He'd yelped when he rounded the corner and found Maggie sitting on the counter, stirring noodles in a bowl.

"Hey," she said around the fork in her mouth. 

Getting over his initial shock, he eyed the plain noodles warily.

"You know, we have tomato sauce in here somewhere?"

Maggie frowned, eyes darting away. "They uh...they never let me eat it like that." When Chris pressed on, she explained, picking at her food. "I-I had a lot of weight gain once I hit puberty, so they cut my calories in half. I could only eat plain noodles, and then they eventually cut me off from carbs completely." She turned back to Chris, eyes bright and hopeful. "Can I have some tomato sauce?"

Chris was _furious._ He wanted to go back to that volcano just so he could find Wesker's bones, chew them up, and spit them out. But Wesker was definitely dead, it was 3 am, and Maggie was still looking up at him with those big brown eyes. 

"Well," Chris started as he found the sauce in the fridge. "If we're doing this quick and easy way, pour some of that in there, along with some of _this,"_ he handed her a container of Parmesan cheese, "and stick it in the microwave for a bit."

He got a pudding cup from the fridge and went to leave, watching her add the ingredients to her bowl before heating it up. 

"Oh! And make sure you stop it before the microwave starts beeping," he added. "Leon hates the sound of it going off at night."

Roslyn preferred solitude, bitter and irritable on days that were too heavy. In some cases, there were specific dates that unearthed some deep seated trauma attached and would result in a full blown meltdown. From a girl who shoots lightning out of her body.

After one incident with a transformer blowing out, Chris and Leon talked over solutions.

Leon brought a box to her room, and pushed the door open with his hip. Roslyn was laying in her bed, blanket pulled over her head. The room reeked of cigarettes (which, he would definitely be having a talk with her about. If Chris could quit, so could she) and self-loathing (which he couldn't say much about.

"You don't have to talk to me," he promised, setting the turntable up on the side table next to the bed. He turned the volume up to a low mood. "And maybe this won't be as helpful to you as it was me, but give it a shot." 

He picked up one of the old records from his ancient collection. He'd started it back when he was in middle school (and most of it he'd been gifted by the local library when they made the switch to CDs). 

Leon blew the dust off the old copy of _Tango in the Night_ , starting on side one. He skipped over the first track, instead moving the needle to the second.

The intro played, and Roslyn peeked out of her blanket. 

_"So long ago, it's a certain time, it's certain place…"_

"Stevie got me through time times, I think she can do the same for you," he smirked. 

When he walked past her room later that night to check on her, she was still listening to that record. This time, she was singing along. 

_"IF I LIVE TO SEE THE SEVEN WONDERS, I'LL MAKE A PATH TO THE RAINBOW'S EDGE!"_ she screamed along. _"I'LL NEVER LIVE TO MATCH THE BEAUTY AGAIN!"_

* * *

Chris rolled over, pulling Leon closer. They'd been sharing the couch in his office (which indeed was a pullout couch, he made sure of it for when he'd be staying here long nights) while the girls were forced to stay in BSAA custody. The DSO had been demanding access to them but Leon flat out refused. He wouldn't dare force his daughters down the same path both he and Sherry had been, that was for damn sure. So Chris did everything in his power for the BSAA to take total control of the project, scheduling regular meetings with the DSO to ensure that everything was running smoothly. Still, no one from the agency, minus Helena, Hunnigan, and Jake, had seen them beyond a few photographs and grainy video.

"Maggie said meditation and yoga really helped her, maybe Rosie can try that," Chris offered.

Leon's brow quirked. "Rosie?"

"What? I can't give my kids nicknames?" 

"It's cute," Leon whispered as he cuddled closer. "I bet she'd like it."

They sat in the quiet for a few moments, nothing but the sound of the cats purring. They too had been forced to move into the office, as Chris and Leon barely spent time at the house anymore. They only ever came by to get clothes or anything else of importance. 

The hand that Chris had been rubbing Leon's back with slowed. Leon tilted his head up, noticing Chris's thousand yard stare. 

"Hey," he spoke quietly, running a finger down his face, into the impressive beard he'd been growing, "you okay?"

Chris met his gaze, and Leon could see the worry lines on his face deepen. "Do you think we're gonna be good parents? I mean, we don't have to do all the toddler stuff, they're fully grown adults who've been on the run for as long as we've been married but-"

Leon's reassuring hand settling on his chest made him stop rambling. "I think we have to work with them. There's a lot of trauma that we need to accommodate for, and we need to make an open space where they feel supported and safe enough to confront and move on from it."

Chris hummed, impressed. "You come up with that on your own?"

"Nope, it was in one of those parenting books Rebecca gave me."

Chris pried himself away from Leon in the middle of the night when he heard a noise outside the office, the other man fast asleep. He pulled a shirt on and cracked open the door, finding Roslyn standing a few feet away at the vending machine. She turned when she heard his voice.

"What are you doing up?"

She grinned sheepishly, wrapping her arms around herself. She was practically drowning in one of Leon’s old t-shirts and a pair of grey sweatpants. Her grin melted into a frown. “My room is really dark...and I know I’ve been sleeping in it for a while but tonight it’s bothering me.”

“Maggie prefers sleeping in the dark, I figured you wouldn’t mind it either,” Chris replied. “Is there something in there?”

“No! Nothing like that. It just...it reminds me of the Tank.”

Ah yes. The Tank, he recalled from that damaged file. Ada had sent over some more information explaining what exactly that entailed. 

Roslyn abilities often enabled her playful nature. This resulted in her getting in trouble frequently and the punishment was the Tank, a sensory deprivation tank that Wesker used for the sole reason of making her panic. 

Once again, Chris wanted to rip Wesker apart limb from limb. The girls hadn’t been in his life for very long, but that protective fatherly instinct was quickly creeping up on him. 

But once again, the Tank had been destroyed in its facility many moons ago, and Roslyn was still shivering in front of him. “I think I can find you one of those battery operated lanterns around here. We can set it up on the floor as a nightlight.”

“Don’t call it that, it’s embarrassing.”

“Do you want the nightlight or not?”

Roslyn giggled. “Thanks, dad,” She whispered tiredly before freezing up, realizing what she had just said.

Chris's heart _glowed_. If he smiled any wider, his face was going to explode. 

"Can I- is it okay if I call you that?" She stammered out. 

"I would be honored. Just don't tell Leon I got the dad title first. He'll be bitter." 

Roslyn winced. " _Ohh_ , actually I called him 'dad' last week. Remember when he brought me those lemon bars?" 

Chris gasped, betrayed. His eyes narrowed. "That's it, you're grounded."

"I'd like to see you try, old man."

He found an old Coleman in one of the supply closets that still worked and walked her back down to the offices the girls had been using as a room. He placed the lantern on the floor opposite her bed, turning down to a faint glow as Roslyn tucked herself back into her tiny cot. 

He stood back up and moved towards the door, looking back into the room. "Sure you'll be okay in here?"

She nodded. "Yeah, the light helps." She snuggled up under her blanket, holding her pillow close. "Night, dad," she mumbled sleepily.

She was already nearly asleep, and almost missed Chris replying, "night, Rosie."

* * *

Leon had a similar experience, training with Maggie, giving her pointers on defensive maneuvers and melee attacks. 

"Your elbow is your best friend, one of the strongest points in your body." 

"Are you sure I can't just pull the railing down from that cat walk and beat the training dummy into submission?"

"Yes, now hit it with your elbow, just like I showed you."

So Maggie pretended that she was grabbed from behind, pivoted, and slammed her elbow directly into the dummy. Which broke on its stand. She blew out a breath, shaking her arm out.

"Excellent! If you're somewhere with no metal, because not everywhere is an old Umbrella facility, fighting hand to hand is your best bet," Leon explained. "Try it again, just like that."

She moved onto the next dummy, repeating the same steps. This one also broke on its stand.

"Nice job, kiddo!" Leon remarked, beaming with pride.

"Thanks dad!" One second Maggie was smiling, and the next she looked ready to pass out. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-I shouldn't have said that. Dad- I mean- Chris said we could say it but I didn't ask-"

"Hey! Hey, it's okay!" Leon stepped closer, hands on her shoulders. He was shorter than Chris, not by much, but he could look Maggie straight in the eyes. "Maggie, you can call me dad." When her breathing slowed a bit, Leon joked, "but I'm jealous you called Chris dad before me, I'll admit it."

Maggie snorted at that, and her innocent smile was the greatest thing Leon had ever seen in his entire life. 

* * *

Leon poked his head in Rosie’s room one night, and she was still playing that same old record. She’d cycled through a few in the collection Leon had given her, found a love for Jimi Hendrix and Queen, but she always went back to this one.

_“I am what I am, am what I am, a family man...."_

Rosie was dancing with Pants the cat in the corner, singing along while Kevin slept on her bed. Maggie was sitting on the floor, legs resting against the wall as she flipped through a magazine.

Leon smirked, watching her move the needle back so she could hear that line once again. “Don’t you think this is getting a bit overplayed?”

Rosie twirled. "No," she replied curtly, mirroring his expression. 

Maggie rolled over to face him, shoving the magazine at him. “Look! This guy found a giant chunk of butter in a peat bog behind his house, 2,000 years old!” She plopped back down on the floor. “I wish that was me.” 

Roslyn went and turned the volume down on the turntable once she realized Leon was holding something behind his back. "What's up, dad?"

“Your father, other father,” Leon clarified, “wants a picture of you two for his desk. He’s out at a meeting right now, so I wanna surprise him.” He pulled out an ancient polaroid camera.

“Ugh, I hate pictures!” Roslyn stomped her foot, and a few little bolts shot up. 

“Aw, too bad,” Leon replied, unfazed. “It’s weird that he has pictures of me and the cats but not his daughters, now pose with your sister.”

The two obliged, wrapping an arm around each other and posing in front of the bookshelf. Rosie turned on her 1000 watt smile, eyes crinkling while Maggie maintained her casual tight lipped smile, both standing tall. 

“Okay, hold it, hold it!” The flash went off and the girls both cringed, slumping back into their normal relaxed stance. 

“Wait, wait! One more,” Leon insisted, taking the first polaroid. “I need one too.”

The girls both groaned. “Dad!” 

Still, they humored dear old dad, posing for another photo. The flash went off again and Leon took the polaroid as it slid out, giving it a few shakes before setting it down with the other. “See, now that wasn’t so bad.”

“Says you. I’m blinded!” 

* * *

When Chris came back to the office later, he set his stuff down at his desk like usually. He quickly noticed there was something different in his normal space, and his eyes lit up as he found the framed photo in the corner, next to his photo of Leon in his old S.T.A.R.S. sweatshirt, holding Pants in his lap and laughing. 

“Finally!” He picked it up. 

Leon slunk into his office, a smile playing at his lips. “Do you know how hard it was to get them to pose for that?”

Chris stuck his arm out, and Leon moved right into it. He let Chris pull him close to his side, strong grip at his waist. “You know, I’m glad they got your nose.” 

Leon frowned. “I like your nose!”

Chris pointed at Rosie’s hair. “At least they both got your hair.”

They did both mirror Leon’s natural acorn brown locks, which had come in as he aged. Maggie’s was definitely a bit darker, favoring Chris’s color. “I think we make a stunning family of brunettes.”

“We really did make some beautiful little ladies,” Chris agreed. “Don’t get me wrong. I despise Wesker. But, he did really set us up with those two, didn’t he.”

Leon rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re making me say thank you to _Albert Wesker.”_

Chris fixed Leon with a satisfied grin. “See, this parenting shit is easy. I say, they’ll be honor students in a week.”

Leon chuckled, craning his neck to kiss Chris softly. Chris happily welcomes it, thumb stroking the exposed bit of stomach where Leon’s shirt has ridden up. One of Leon’s hands finds its way into Chris’ short hair, the other resting on his chest where he can feel that big ol’ loving heart of his thrum beneath his finger tips. It’s Leon who pulls back first, Chris chasing after his lips. Their noses bump softly, their foreheads touch, and they’re both falling in love all over again. 

“I love you,” Leon purred. “I’m also really glad Wesker decided to use your DNA sample, otherwise it would’ve been really weird.”

Chris laughed from deep in his belly, still holding Leon close. “And I love you,” he echoed. “I’m also really glad that our girls favor you, because I do think that you are the most gorgeous thing on the face of the earth," he flirted back.

"Mmm," Leon hummed. "I love it when you try and woo me like I'm still just your little crush." He pulled him back in by his shirt, backing up to make sure the door was locked before they resumed their kiss. Chris worked his leg between Leon’s thighs, and suddenly Leon was very grateful that Chris made an announcement to the entire building that his office was off limits for the time being. 

So life was no longer hectic missions, paperwork, and days off spent at home. Now it was going to be hectic missions, paperwork, and days off spent with bio-organic weapon daughters making sure that they’re safe and loved, while simultaneously sneaking in moments for themselves.. 

They could deal.

* * *

Somewhere, Ada Wong’s phone _pinged._

She slid it out of her pocket, brows flying up in surprise at the sender. Opening the message, her lips twitched up at the attachment. 

A photo of a polaroid, Maggie and Roslyn standing together and smiling. The two were practically glowing, a far cry from the little girls with sad, dull eyes that Wesker had introduced her to. 

_Ada_

_The girls are doing good, adjusting well. I wanted to say thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t have even known they existed. Or maybe I would’ve, and the circumstances would have been so much worse. So, thank you. See you when I see you. Or maybe you can come visit? Maybe._

_Leon._

Her lips broke into a full smile. She couldn’t help it, typing out a quick reply. 

_My schedule just cleared. Give me a time and day, I’ll be there._

__

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRADITIONAL ART because i lost my tablet pen but yeah here's my art of the Redfield-Kennedy test tube babies 
> 
> uh yeah the best thing about the RE universe is you can just make up some fake, scientific sounding shit and all of a sudden boom you can sprinkle in whatever lore you want. I tried to make them at least reminiscent of actually things in the game (maggie: iron maidens, rose: c-virus piers). please accept the redfield-kennedy babes, they deserve all the love.

**Author's Note:**

> Leon Kennedy: pure of heart
> 
> Chris Redfield: dumb of ass


End file.
